Just a vent about my mental health. It crashed. Again

On surface people may look at me and think he has everything going good in life. But the only thing that’s been sore and bringing me down mentally is my love life, more like the non existence of it. I decided this year I won’t let that affect my mental health anymore, and not get the best of me anymore, but it seems I’ve failed again since yesterday. I keep getting questions when am I getting married and the next time someone asks me this I swear I’m gonna punch them. I am just tired. I have no hopes of finding a women. Deep down I know there’s something wrong with me that women see and not want me for it, maybe it’s the inherent sadness. But I just want to be recognized as myself and not the value I have based on why i don’t have a partner or why I don’t have a love life. I feel deeply broken and if this pain keeps returning back after 30s, I am seriously going to commit in ending my life after 35, this loneliness and pain, no man should be alive to go through this. I thought this feeling won’t come back, and was having a great time since November last year. I feel failed in life, I don’t have the energy nor do I know how to woo a woman. Being 28 and turning 29 this year, really gets to me at times like these. My close friend, who’s like a sister to me, I would talk about this to her, but lately I think even she’s had enough, and would just scold me for cribbing about it, because I take no action to improve on it. She doesn’t understand that I feel extremely unseen in dating. I don’t even feel like talking to her about this. So I just write over here. I don’t even know what actions there’s left to take. Being an introvert cold approaches seems nightmarish, even if someone shows slight interest in very early stages, things die down, I don’t know how I should be improving on this, but every action I take feels like I am trying to be someone else in the process. Is too much to ask for someone who will accept me for who I am? I have a lot of great things to offer, my close friend she says I am a great man and women should experience but how? I really made the mindset up, that I am ready to spend of the rest of my life alone. But I really don’t think I can. I feel less of myself. I don’t think I was really cut out for this world. And I don’t know it makes me feel this shame inside me that at times I don’t even feel like showing my face to anyone, whenever this hits. My motivation just fades in times like these. I don’t know how to cope with this loneliness. I am the natural selection after all. But this feeling is just too heavy. Sometimes I just don’t want to feel anything. Right now in this moment I feel ending it, but my rational mind won’t left me because I have a lot more I want to feel in life. Travel the places left in my bucket list, see the concerts I dreamt of seeing. I really want to feel life more. But I can’t keep going like this.