Can’t tell if I just completely invented the hypomanic episode I just had

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 at the age of 15 and put on a relatively high dose of lithium immediately. Within a few weeks, my symptoms began clearing beautifully (I had been getting myself into a lot of trouble before) and from then on out I would only flip into depressive episodes of lower severity than before, no hypomanic symptoms at all.

Fast forward over 3 years and I’m in college and managing the condition fine. I fell into one of my depressive episodes a few weeks ago, and it started to get worse than usual, to the point where I wasn’t eating much and I was isolating myself. Then, all of a sudden I woke up one morning feeling much better than I had.

As I sat in my morning lab class, this feeling, very similar to that of anxiety, spread throughout my body. I kept thinking “hmm maybe this is what the hypomanic episode is supposed to feel like”, and dismissed it until I couldn’t. For the rest of the day I was walking on sunshine and frankly it was fantastic. The whole time, however, I was kind of obsessing over the idea of having a hypomanic episode.

That night I contacted my psychiatrist and described my symptoms and the next day he ended up writing me a script for seroquel to take until the episode passed. At this point I can’t tell if I was getting swept up into a hysteria by the hypomania or just fully psyching myself into thinking I was hypomanic but I was talking a mile a minute and still so obsessed with the idea of being hypomanic. I don’t know if all of the unusual behavior was caused by some strange false word I invented or by hypomania.

Either way, the next night I very reluctantly took my 50 mg dose of seroquel (after running around in the snow for an hour) and completely knocked out. The next morning I felt practically high and extremely groggy. That feeling pretty much turned into a very very depressed sort of feeling, and by the time it started to lift I was beginning to doubt if this whole damn thing even happened.

All this is to say, I hadn’t been hypomanic in three years and I have pretty much no memory of how it felt, so I have no clue if what I just experienced was a hypomanic episode or just some excuse I invented for myself to act strange for a couple days. I didn’t do any real damage and it went away so quick after taking the seroquel. Can anyone relate to this? Is this recovery too good to be true?

As a side note, as I write this I’m getting some pretty intense surges of some kind of feeling, possibly the one I was feeling yesterday. The sounds my roommate (bless his heart) are making are making me lose it a little. I don’t know if it’s the meds I just took or hypomania, but it feels weird. This feels different than how I felt for most of today, I think, but maybe I’m just inventing all of this again. Maybe it’s intense anxiety.