Rate my Sabres Conspiracy Theories

Rate my crazy conspiracy theories for the Sabres organization so far this year. I don't know exactly how you rank conspiracy theories, so maybe a scale of 1(that is actually what happened) to 10 (you are living in a different dimension)? I'm open to any rating system and any new conspiracy theories anyone would like to share.

Please note, I am in no way an insider or have any knowledge other that what is publicly available and what my imagination can create. Some logical thought is applied to these but mostly this is somewhere between observation, wish casting and fanfic.

1. Kevyn Adams was signed on to an extra year on his contract in the summer when the Jarmo was brought in as a pre-severance package. The plan was always to ditch GMKA mid-year and he was given that money guaranteed so he would go quietly when the time came.
2. Konsta Helenius made a deal with the organization to skip the world Juniors in exchange for making his NHL debut this year. He was slated to be on the top line for his country but instead stayed in Rochester. Lots of people were calling for him to be called up sooner but my tinfoil hat brain said there was no chance due to this being a slide year for his contract. What changed? The timing lines up with Jarmo coming in as GM and him saying he was allowed to spend. Torching a slide year costs around 800k this year and brings the player to RFA status a year earlier (after the 27-28 season).
3. Players have been instructed to stay on IR longer than necessary to deal with roster issues. A few players have come back slower than expected from the IR this season and then come off at a very advantageous time. There has been some lucky breaks with players being ready off the IR just as another teammate has gone on. This has helped keep players like Ostlund from having to go back down.
4. Zack Jones is never going to dress and is going to miss out on the AHL points crown by less than 5 points. At one point he was leading the AHL on points due to his very impressive rate of getting assists. He is currently nine points down and has played ten less games than the person leading in points. I'm not sure how this is a conspiracy but it definitely feels like one.
5. Tyson Kozak chose number 48 just so that every time I see him touch the puck I think its Daniel Briere and then I think I'm having a stroke trying to remember what year it is. He did this only to mess with me and no one else.
6. Tuch is staying but won't sign until the last week of June. The terms are all done except for price. He's waiting out the remainder of the year to juice his stats and get maximum extraction and wait for the market to shift based on increasing cap space. The deal comes out to about 65% guaranteed(a rarity for the organization), which is why it benefits the team to wait as well. The team will handle almost all other business before announcing the deal and it will be the only one with anywhere close to that much guaranteed signing bonus.
7. Terry Pegula is actually a lizard. This one is pretty self-explanatory. But Rob Ray knows about it and refuses to talk about it on air.

Thanks for your indulgence, and I hope someone will give me new theories to obsess over.