I don’t even know where to start. I’m 21 years old, and for the past five years (2019–2023), I dedicated myself to one dream: building a career in Cyber Security.
I worked hard. I learned Python, JavaScript, a little bit of C. I studied Git & GitHub, Docker, HTML, CSS, Django, Flask. I explored Kali Linux and Ubuntu. I completed CS50x and CS50p. I wasn’t perfect, but I was consistent. I believed that if I kept going, I would eventually make it.
My family also had a dream for me — to send me abroad for higher education. So I planned everything: crack IELTS, go abroad, study Cyber Security properly, and build my future there.
But in 2024, I had my 12th board exams (HSC), and I had to focus completely on that. After finishing, I joined IELTS preparation. Because of exams and IELTS, I stopped practicing programming for almost a full year.
And that’s where everything fell apart.
Without practice, I forgot so many things. Concepts that once felt clear now feel distant. My confidence is gone. Even with IELTS, I don’t feel confident. I feel like I messed everything up.
It hurts because I invested five years of my life into this dream. And now it feels like it’s slipping away. I didn’t have proper guidance during those years — no mentor, no clear roadmap — just self-learning and hope.
In my current course, there’s no Cyber Security subject at all. I feel stuck. I’m confused about what to do next:
Should I focus fully on IELTS again?
Should I restart programming from the basics?
How do I prepare for studying Cyber Security abroad?
Is it too late?
Did I waste those five years?
Right now, I feel lost. My dream feels like it’s dying, and that thought scares me the most.
If anyone has been in a similar situation — paused their learning, lost confidence, changed direction — I would really appreciate your advice. How did you restart? How did you rebuild your confidence? How did you plan your path?
I don’t want to give up. I’m just tired and confused.
Any guidance would mean a lot to me.

Thank you for reading.

I Worked 5 Years Toward Cyber Security… and Now I Feel Like I’ve Lost Everything