Am I wrong to feel uneasy about my partner’s parents?

I am dating my partner (him early 30s, me late 20s) for a year, and we have decided to marry. We have introduced our parents and they have met. He has been honest from the beginning that his parents are a bit difficult, as they are conservative and do not accept easily that someone who is not their choice is being brought into the family. I may also have to live with them eventually after 2–3 years of living on our own, so he wants me to have a good relationship with them.

I am trying to, but I have inherent fears due to having seen controlling in-laws in my mother’s life and how that ruined her life. I am an independent, self-sufficient, educated woman with a good social life. I don’t see myself fitting into what they might imagine their ideal bahu would be like, but I am willing to give this a try just because of my partner, who is emotionally aware and willing to do the work required.

But I fear where it will stop. For example, they have met me once, briefly, and now want to meet me a couple of times more. Everyone I know finds this proposition strange saying that they should ideally accept the choice of their son rather than “accept” me, and the interrogation-style meetings are not sitting well with me. They have also asked similar uncomfortable questions to my family earlier. We have had small fights over this as well, but we have been able to resolve them be cause he reassures me that he will not abandon me in any situation.

I just feel uncomfortable with this. If this is what is happening now, I don’t know what will happen in the future and how much convincing I may have to do for other life choices. My partner is clear that they know they will have to make adjustments too, but he also tells me they are scared because they have an only son, and because of how relationships and marriages are breaking nowadays, and how people leave old parents to live alone.

I understand that anxiety, which is why I am complying with their request of meeting again and again, and bearing with the slowness of the process. But I still feel uneasy. Any experiences? I know this is not typically an arranged marriage, but it is being done like one.

TLDR: Dating for a year and planning to marry, but my partner’s conservative parents want multiple “getting to know you” meetings that feel like interrogations. I’m trying to be understanding, but it’s making me uneasy and scared about future expectations. Looking for perspectives or similar experiences.