Tortilla soup

Jimothy. I was always in love with you. I am now. But i don't know how to describe why i can't be with you.

Both times we began to engage romantically, after such a deep, beautiful friendship, my spirit came out of alignment. Both times, the moment we began, all my income sources stopped. Clients began to cancel, no new clients were reaching out...it was odd. And both times i pulled away, within seconds, calls started coming in. My schedule filled immediately.

Your love is so powerful. Your protection is so strong. Your acts of love are pure.

I struggled with the changes you were asking me to make. Things that go against who i am. Jeremy is a friend i will have for the remainder of my life. I will not tolerate being told who i can speak to and what is and is not "appropriate ". you didn't try to control me but my desire to please you was too heavy to bear.

I was abandoning myself due to my admiration of you.

It takes everything i have not to run back to your arms. i love your love so much!!

There is another thing.

I don't believe we are sexually compatible. And you aren't open to non monogamy.

You love television. I have never owned one.

Your decency, your integrity, your kindness, your soft touch. You have set a standard. You showed me i was not broken.

I love you, sir. And i love you enough to say truthfully, i could not be faithful to you. I am not willing to betray you that way. Part of me feels obligated to get into the relationship you want. It would be unfair to you for me to do anything out of a feeling of obligation.

it hurts. and i'm so sorry.