Is he flirting, or am I horny and imagining things?

So I (23) work with this guy (40+) (I know, but let me explain), and I think he may be expressing interest, but I’m not sure. Usually uncertainty = uninterested, but I’m really, really dense, and this is a bit of a special case. I’m especially dense when it comes to flirting. I’m sparing personal details so some parts might be vague.

At my job, I try to keep it polite and professional all without getting personal. I laugh at the right jokes, avoid the wrong conversations, make comments here and there, clock out, collect paycheck. This routine continues nicely until one day I’m given a new responsibility.

My new responsibility is the kind where there is either a lot to do, or nothing to do, with little in between. Typically, people working this position talk more with the contracted people my company hires more than they do our direct coworkers.

It started when my direct coworker included me in a conversation with him. I was taking over for the end of their shift, and he just happened to be there, per the contract. I make some polite responses, and notably, he stops engaging, as if the conversation no longer includes him. The rest of the shift goes by in solitude.

By nature of their contract work, he’s not always there every day, and he’s able to choose where he wants to be for the day, so I don’t see him all the time. From here on, I’m going to refer to him as X.

A few shifts go by, and I overhear X talking about something I’m actually interested in with another coworker. Bearing in mind my usual office politics, I jump into the conversation. It’s a bit out of character for me, given that I’m usually soft-spoken, and unlikely to interact with others first, but whatever I said was clearly more interesting than what my coworker said because X looked surprised, but doesn’t say anything. My coworker politely excludes me, and I take my queue to leave.

The next time I see him, I’m hormonal. I definitely realized that day that he’s kind of cute, but he’s a coworker (sort of) and that my growing crush is based off of a desire to get to know him. In other words, I stay mindful not to let my interest become delusion/objectification. I also get a little risky, and bend my rules a bit. My undershirt has a gay flag, which I decide to let show. I know he saw it, because we end up in each other’s spaces a few times.

Speaking of the undershirt, I buy a rainbow Apple Watch band around the same time, opting for that to be my subtle “signal”. I mostly keep it under my sleeve though.

After spending all shift glancing at him, he walks by me, and I decide to break the ice. I comment on how quietly he walks. Soon enough, we find ourselves in conversation. He mentions how he knew I was smart from something I said before. He’s talking with his hands a lot, and I notice the ring he is clearly drawing my attention to. There was also a chance for me to air out any “daddy issues” I might have, but I don’t.

“Now I can put my crush to rest”, I think.

A few more shifts talking with him, and I’ve disregarded my “rules” a bit more and more each time. Suddenly we’re talking politics, philosophy, conspiracies, challenging each other here and there, and sharing world views. I’m intent on respecting his commitment by this point, so we actually get to know each other really well.

Outside of our duo, we’re professional with others. Like we’re suddenly two different people, and all of my professional rules apply again. Like a little world that only we get to be part of.

Fast forward to today.

Personally, we get into much deeper topics than usual. Trauma, dating woes, success and failure, how to tell if another person is flirting, and more. For some reason, I am really drawn into what we’re talking about. More than I am my actual work.

I’m cherrypicking events, mostly for his privacy, but this is where I become curious on if I’m being flirted with. In no particular order, while we’re talking about past relationships, he tells me that the ring is actually fake. It’s meant to give him an indication of what type of woman he’s talking to, and what their intentions are. My mind flashes back to when he first made a display of it. He goes on to tell me that he hasn’t had sex in months, and tells me that he usually never discusses trauma, or the ring, to the extent he is, so that I should know that he really trusts me (or something to that effect). I reassure him, telling him,

“We’re just talking. Also, I like when you talk.”

In our talks about relationships, he mentions that he disagrees with the notion that every breakup means two mature people cannot ever remain friends in a healthy capacity. I agree with him. This topic is riding the coattails of another topic about someone he saw frequently at another place he was contracted to, who fit a pretty standard “crazy ex girlfriend” archetype.

We also talk about fetishization around this point.

This is also around the time a woman comes in, and I speak with her for a bit. When I return, he goes,

“She’s cute”, to which I possibly re-out myself as uninterested in her by going,

“Huh” instead of my usual neutral response (reserved for straight coworkers who haven’t noticed or forgot that I’m gay).

There’s a little confusion before we’re already talking about something else.

Soon after, I have to grab something from a spot I’m pretty familiar with. He follows, to “make sure [I] can find it”, then stands *directly behind me* as I bend a bit. I can see him in a reflection, so I turn and go,

“Hey, haha,” kind of flustered. I’m normally not easily flustered, but I suddenly become very aware of his presence. I’m a twunk, but he is a Man. I spend a bit riding this high after we return, unsure of what to make of it but definitely more drawn in than before.

In another joke, he mentions being dominant. I don’t remember how this comes up. Another segment I can’t remember the place of is when he tells me that out of everybody who usually works my position, he prefers me, for multiple reasons (mainly because I’m intelligent, and I offer meaningful, thoughtful, conversation.) Remember the woman who included me in a brief conversation with him once? He outright admits that he’s currently ignoring her (as she was working at the same time) to talk with me.

We go on to talk about flirting, worrying about harassing someone, but being hesitant showing that we really care about them. Some time after, my sleeve rolls down and he taps my rainbow watch band, and asks if I like a certain series. When I say yes, he offers to 3D print a case for me. By this point I’m mentally looking for ways to make certain of what today was, but nothing is coming to mind. He takes notice of the time, remembering that I’m leaving soon. He gets a call, then looks me in the eyes as he says,

“She can wait.”

Then proceeds to continue talking with me.

Before I clock out, I even exchange contact info with him, cementing that at the very least, he won’t just be “some guy I worked with” when either of us moves on from this job.

To get to my question, I’m asking because I’m hoping someone has a similar experience and can provide insight, or can explain how my judgement might just be clouded by my attraction. He only ever talked about dating or fucking women, but he’s made it clear that he’s open minded enough that I would be shocked to find out he’s not bisexual to some degree, and just hasn’t mentioned it.

I know not to risk my job, so eventually things will work themselves out one way or the other regardless. Still, I’m really dense when it comes to flirting, and I believe both of us capable of healthily separating personal and professional.

Also, yes, I masturbated before making this post, so I’m not (completely) thinking with my dick. Sorry for the yap, I just want to put everything within reason onto the table.