Seeking general advice and support

I'm 19, in college, and I'm terrified of living in mortal sin and burning in hell.

For some background, I was baptized + confirmed last Easter after joining OCIA. Because of this, I will not disclose any sins or wrongdoings I've committed before that day. During OCIA, I tried to visit other denominations (Episcopal but I felt off, and Baptist, but I was too afraid to even leave my car.) I've attended mass nearly every Saturday evening/Sunday morning, with the exception of missing a few times due to migraines and unfortunately sleeping in. I've taken communion every time and I've attended confession about 3 times since. Every time, I've admitted to a sin and I've apologized for "sins I cannot remember". I also struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder and PTSD (no luck in finding a therapist).

Despite being Catholic for roughly a year, I've been lukewarm. Recently, I've been thinking about the Ten Commandments and mortal sins, ones I've committed before and after my baptism. I've fought, gossiped (“Have you heard that so-and-so is pregnant?”), I've loathed my parents for abusing me as a young girl (physical+emotional. I still live with my parents and I've been able to forgive them), and I curse like a sailor. I drink, smoke weed on occasion, mainly at nighttime to help me calm down to sleep, I wear leggings (I've read that wearing leggings & 2 piece bathing suits are sins because they show 'every nook and cranny'), and I view secular music, movies, and tv shows, often ones that criticize religion as a whole.

I've had a slight sex addiction due to rape and early exposure to porn, leading to masturbation (not for pleasure. Instead, I do it to pass the time when I'm bored. I have never reached an orgasm, and often I fantasize about sex with my future husband, whomever he is), and I've had sex with a man just so he wouldn't leave me or hurt me emotionally. I've cheated on tests because I am significantly weaker in math and science than I am in other topics, but I know I am intelligent otherwise because I want to help others. I consider myself left on the political spectrum because I want to defend those who cannot defend themselves, regardless of their beliefs and regardless of the colour of their skin.

I believe I'm living in mortal sin and now I'm panicking. I pray the rosary when I feel the need to, I say "God/Lord give me strength/have mercy" about 3 times a day whenever I do something, and yet...I still feel terrible. I believe that Jesus is God, I love Mary, and I respect the Saints, but my borderline (or lack thereof) scrupulosity is just causing more and more anxiety. I don't want to leave, and frankly I don't think I have the heart to, but the anxiety, fear, and stress doesn't feel worth it.

I want to try and speak with my priest about some of this, but I was wondering if anybody had any advice.