Please Pray for my relationship

I’ve been with this girl for nearly a year now, and I love her dearly. I remember praying to God for the strength and guidance to make a romantic advance on her, and He answered that prayer. She shaped me from an admittedly awful person into someone more peaceful and caring. She’s been my first romantic hug, my first girlfriend, and hopefully my last. She’s been my very best friend. She helped me through a lot in life, and I’ve helped her too, even if I didn’t always realize it at the time. She was always kind and supportive. She listened to my issues and helped me through my roadblocks. Our humor and interests are so alike that it honestly feels like we’re the same person.

Lately though, we’ve been having a lot of arguments and miscommunication. Sometimes I feel like I’m walking on eggshells with my actions, sometimes with reason and sometimes without. Recently, her complaints about me have felt more nitpicky, almost like they’re pushing me to fall out of love. Even so, I try to keep my head up, step back, look at the bigger picture, and solve the issue. Almost all of our arguments happen online, over text. In person, our chemistry feels unmatched and still very strong. But lately it feels like she’s been dismissive of things I bring up as issues. I often have to beg her to open up so we can make plans or find solutions, and that’s been exhausting.

Today we finally saw each other in person for the first time in weeks. While we were out eating, my parents texted me telling me I had to be home by 5 for something serious. When I told her, she seemed okay with it. But then she ordered a pizza for her sister. Her sister is someone I don’t have a good history with. I’ve never even spoken to her directly, but she once spoke very poorly about me in a message to my girlfriend. I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t seen the notification pop up on her phone. Because of that, I don’t like her sister, and my girlfriend brings her up often. Instead of being vocal about how I felt, I stayed quiet. She noticed my silence and, instead of asking what was wrong, matched my energy. By the time her sister’s order was ready, it was 4:50, and I was stressed about being late for my parents. She didn’t apologize for ordering the extra food, and after I took her home, she was very hostile toward me.

After meeting my parents and settling down, I asked her to play Fortnite with me. During the match, my parents kept calling for me, and I had to obey them, which meant I went AFK multiple times. She knows how my parents are. After a few matches, she got upset with me for asking her to play if I was going to keep going AFK. I apologized, because I understand how that looks from her perspective.

After that, she didn’t talk to me for two hours. When she finally did, it was just to say goodnight. I told her I didn’t want us to end the day on a bad note and explained why I had been dry during the second half of the date. That’s when she told me she was tired of me and couldn’t take me anymore, and that I don’t let her breathe. That came completely out of left field for me. When I asked her what she meant, she kept dodging the question. Eventually, I told her it was okay. I told her goodnight, using her nickname, and told her I love her like I do every night. She didn’t respond.

I still have hope for us. We don’t really argue in person, and that’s what makes this so confusing. All I have faith in right now is God. I beg Him to be merciful with me and to guide me, even though I know begging isn’t right. Whatever His plan is, I trust that it will be done. It hurts deeply because I truly love her with all my heart and soul. I always tried to make that clear through good morning and goodnight messages, poems, flowers, and effort. I know I haven’t been a perfect partner. I’m human after all. But everything I’ve done to change for the better has been because of her. I even enrolled in college so we could pursue our dreams together.

I don’t know what to feel or what to expect tomorrow. I ask for strength if she leaves, and strength if she stays. Please pray for me.