I don't know what's wrong with me and I don't know how to help myself.

I'm sure you guys get posts here like this all the time, but here's my addition lol.

I'm 22, and I've dealt with intense anxiety surrounding my vagina for as long as I can remember.

When I was young I could not touch anywhere on my vagina directly. I would have an involuntary physical reaction to any form of stimulation anywhere in my pubic area. It got better with time and with sexual experience, though even to this day when someone goes to touch anywhere near my vagina my body has an initial anxiety reaction that I've learned to calm down.

I still deeply fear penetration. And I don't know why I feel any of this. Whenever anything gets near my vaginal entrance my entire body wants to fight it and my whole vagina tenses up. I don't fear pain, ive managed to be penetrated before (thanks to a very safe space and a lot of weed lol) and it didn't hurt. There's no rational thought or fear to it. I feel like I'm a teenager again trying to push myself through enjoying it and I just can't. And I don't know why. And it's really frustrating.

My partner and I are attempting dilating but we haven't been able to manage anything but one finger, and I immediately cried after. I just feel like I'm broken and I'll never be able to fix this.

Anyway, I guess my question is does this sound like vaginisium? Should I see a gynaecologist or a therapist? I have no idea what to do. Thanks.