i’m 23 days clean but i’m high as fuck.

i’m 23 days clean from xanax cocaine opioids meth alcohol and weed… but i’m also high as fuck right now. i have bipolar type 1 and im manic and im just letting it happen because if im sober i atleast deserve the natural high. obviously ive done meth and coke and mania feels very similar to both just depends so i mean i literally honestly feel very similar to being on meth or coke right now, BUT FOR FREE. and i’m still clean from all those drugs. i’m a god because i don’t even need substances to be happy/euphoric. and i’m not worried about a crash because im lucky to where most of the time i don’t even get one and if i do it’s not for long. i mean ive been manic a lot in my life and have only had like 3-4 major depressive episodes total.

so yeah, pretty cool i guess. been drinking a lot of caffeine. but i took som trazodone and hydroxyzine to smooth the edges and i also have olanzipine if i really need it . so thats good