Dragging Feet

I'm a week out form DDay so this is all very fresh.

My WS broke boundaries in a relationship I had already had reservations about. It validated everything I was scared of and has made me unable to believe most of what they say about it. I believe I'm not getting the whole truth. In spite of this, they have been showing up, emotionally vulnerable and answering all my questions without running away. It's been going about as well as it can in terms of R. Until this roadblock came up.

There's been a ton of talking and processing so I can't trace back everything that has been said exactly as it happened. However, I made it clear that I didn't feel safe moving forward while the third party WS lied about is still in their life. They agreed, said we were on the same page and informed me that there was a conversation ending their contract for the foreseeable future. Due to the long-standing nature of the outside relationship, there were some further confirmation questions around end of life and extreme emergencies. I sat with that for about a day and decided that the door needs to be totally closed and the relationship ended completely as I wouldn't be able to build trust after the gaslighting I experienced.

It's been a full week and my WS hasn't put the final nail in the coffin with AP. I got extremely upset that there even needed to be clarification and that this wasn't about "taking space". It needs to be done to have any platform for R, it's a non-negotiable. My WS was then honest about attempted contact yesterday after my reaction, but hasn't heard anything back (maybe a good thing). In the initial conversation I said I wasn't going to put a ton of pressure on it, but that's when I trusted that it would be finished quickly after a lot of agreement and being on the same page.

That has not happened, and while I trust that there hasn't been further contact (a requirement for regaining trust) I don't like feeling that the door has been left open a crack. I feel like if it's not sealed shut within the next 48hrs, my WS doesn't actually care about building trust and I'll have to formulate a plan to stay elsewhere until this first step is done just to show that I am actually serious.

I can understand being anxious about AP's reaction. I can understand having other priorities and just trying to function as a person in the world right now is difficult. But it's been a week. I can't be naive anymore and there is a distinct difference in my heart between "no contact" and "do not contact me again forever". It's been long enough, so unfortunately it's time to see if they're willing to actually put our relationship first or continue the self preservation. It's holding up R and degrading my trust even further.