Mars combustion is making me go through hell right now.

I am a Sagittarius ascendant and I have the Moon, Rahu and Mars in 5th house aries. Mars also rules my 12th house and in the chandra chart it is my lagnesh. Since the Mars is combusted and Saturn is transitting through my 4th house, I have constant anxiety, I hate staying at home and somehow I have become so gloomy. I have been lazy so a lot of opportunities I have missed out on but I’ve always had the motivation and all the spark. The Saturn transit was not this much noticeable to me since Mars combustion. I had hopes, I was with Durga maa and I was kind of keeping up. But now I am facing betrayal from a ‘friend’ of mine. Some people have just turned stoic towards me and I am a fool who has constantly put her energy into them in their tough times. They have gained all the spark while I am losing it.

I am afraid, my laziness has increased and I cannot wake up early and I hate it. I keep doing physical work but that also doesn’t seem to help. I feel my emotions are being suppressed, even though I do not want them to. Getting it out of my head seems like a huge task and I get tired without even trying. I feel bad for keeping my bar so low and now being backstabbed. When I try to talk to Maa Durga, it seems that she’s abandoned me?? I can’t meditate properly. I ask for guidance and I do not get it. I feel so unlucky right now. The degree I want to pursue is seeming like a distant dream and I am afraid of working anymore.

What do I do now? How do I fix this? I’ve tried everything I can. I have kept a track of the events in my day and still can’t decode them. I feel like a burden on my parents. My father is sick and is constantly tensed because of my academic graph. I have been good at it but education break and other things have lowered my confidence. I badly want to get out asap and start studying well and do other things. Please help me.