Sorry for the long post — mixed signals from a male friend are messing with my self-worth. What do I do?

Sorry in advance for the long post. I really needed to lay this out properly because I don’t feel like I can see the situation clearly anymore. Please be kind, I’m not having a great day. I have a male friend with whom I’ve always had a sort of make-believe relationship. Over time, I ended up playing many roles in his life, family, partner-like emotional support, close friend. He speaks to me in a very adoring, intimate way, the way someone would usually talk to their partner. He often made me feel like I was the most important person in his life.

But in front of a common friend, he once referred to me as his sister. He didn’t know I knew this. When I later asked him directly what he sees me as, he said “a friend.” That hurt, especially because when I asked him for space to process things, he didn’t really respect it. Instead, he kept texting me about how much he missed me. I know these are red flags. Eventually, I stopped talking to him, but he kept calling. One day I finally lost my temper and told him everything, how confused and hurt I felt. It was an intense conversation. I cried. He cried too. Later, he texted me saying he doesn’t feel innocent anymore, that if he didn’t give me the respect I deserved and he had been a bad friend to me. That acknowledgment broke my resolve. I’ve cut off many people in my life before, and hearing him take responsibility made me emotional. I agreed to “restart” our friendship.

Some more context: he’s attracted to conventionally attractive, successful women. I understand that. During that intense conversation, I asked him something that still haunts me, if I had fallen in love with him, what would he have done? He said he had never thought about it. What hurts is that when I fell in love with someone else (about a year ago, when we first met), he started avoiding me and even misbehaved. So he was possessive. He’s currently dating someone else, but he still talks to me in the same adoring, intimate way and shows a lot of care. I try to set boundaries, but I’m struggling. It honestly feels like we’re addicted to talking to each other. If we don’t talk for even one day, it feels very long. I’m not able to bring back the determination I had earlier to stay distant. Sometimes he calls me “bro” now (which I see as him trying), but then he’ll switch back to that adoring tone and I won’t want him to stop. That contradiction messes with my head. Here’s where I’m stuck:

If I cut him off, I know I’ll miss him deeply. If I stay friends, I feel sad and undesirable, because he makes me feel incredibly special, yet he never chose me or considered me as really a potential partner. I know emotional closeness and romantic love are different things. Intellectually, I get that. But emotionally, I feel stuck in this in-between space where I’m giving partner-level intimacy without being chosen. I’ve also become quite alone lately, and it won’t really get better for another seven months, when I go back to university. I won’t lie, sometimes I crave affection, and that probably clouds my judgment. My questions: Have any of you been in a situation like this yourself? Where do you honestly see a dynamic like this going in the future? Is it actually possible to stay friends here without hurting myself? What exactly do I need to do right now? Where are the likely fuck-ups if I’m not careful? I’d really appreciate honest but gentle advice. Thank you for reading this far.