How can I (25M) approach a conversation with my girlfriend (24F) about her lack of support while I’ve been very sick?

Yesterday I had an emergency surgery. Was amitted to the hospital a few days before and I let some friends and family know about my situation. Turned out my stomach pains were far worse than I thought, I had a serious infection and was apparently close to dying. I told my girlfriend about this the days leading up to it and when I got to the hospital. I didn’t think she was being inconsiderate or anything, our phone call ended in us saying love you bye, like they always do.

We have had this problem lately where she’ll cancel plans last minute without being considerate while doing it, which I brought up, we talked about it like adults and I’d say it went well.

My girlfriend lives in another city, so it’s understandable she wouldnt show up to the hospital. Some family came, a friend and I felt love and support for a day or two, other than that I had been feeling pretty lonely, to be honest. During this whole thing I have been under extreme pain, even with different types of pain medication (constant pain, no sleep for days) including morphine, so it has been one of the hardest things I have ever gone through.

I called my girlfriend after the surgery yesterday, we talked a bit, maybe she was uncomfortable with my moans from the pain I don’t know. But she said she’s leaving to do what she normally would cancel our plans for, playing games with a friend. I normally don’t mind stuff like that, it just felt bad this time. I think I would want to be more supportive if I was in her shoes.

I didn’t think about this too much, and tried focusing on recovering and talking to family and friends who were always calling to check up on me.

Today, I feel like I have a stronger bond with some friends and a cousin, because of this. I think that I have always valued going through hard times with someone. 1 friend who also lives far away basically made himself available for phonecalls whenever and could screenshare or streams shows/games/movies. I just value these relationships more now already I feel like. I just wish that my relationship with my girlfriend was included in this. I don’t feel like she has been mean directly. i just havent felt any type of support or love coming from her during the hardest period of my life. We have been together for nearly 3 years. She hasn’t been more busy or anything, it hurt me to my core when I was trying to talk after the surgery and she was being dissmisive in a way she would normally be, like it was any other day.

I don’t think I want to be in a relationship like this, but every time I bring up a problem she gets very upset and I then focus on helping her in the moment. It’s like whatever problem I initially had gets put on hold because now she is crying.

TLDR:

Upset about girlfriend not supporting me through an extremely hard period, emergency surgery and very bad pain.

Want to talk about it but don’t know how to approach convo since she’ll be very sad with this.