What to do

I’m 20f have vaginismus, I’ve gone to the doc and pelvic floor specialist I pay like $90 dollars for sessions I have probs had about like 7 very few weeks , she prescribed me numbing cream I don’t really feel a difference I’m really losing hope. Idk should I continue with her or maybe buy some dilators feel like I’m wasting my money , I can fit in a finger and finger myself but it’s not enjoyable at alll but it’s really uncomfortable idk I’ve been with my bf for nearly 2 years and I feel like a failure of a women because we can’t have sex it’s really taking a toll on me and I just cry about it so often now , pelvic floor lady said she is seeing progress idk if she’s just saying that but I saw a post and it was about how this girl overcame her condition and she got dilators and just did it every day and eventually was able to have sex in a couples months idk if I should get the dilators I just don’t wanna feel disappointed.