Suffocation and Betrayal

We had 3 & half years relationship out of which 2 years was long distance , she broke up with me 16months ago , i live in Australia as student and she lives in my home country. I tried so much later after 1months i went to home country. Tried my best to make things work, she met me once and promised i am not ready for relationship at the moment, i will get back to you when we will be stable have career after 3-4years.

Then i went back to Australia, was on no contact for 1 and half months after that she came back and started talking and sharing things again. Been on relation for 3 months all of a sudden she broke up with me. and said i want to focus on career , i am not understanding and all. However want me on her life as a friend. We used to talk as friend after a month out of no where she was interested pain and asked marry me and take me with you there forever. After that i booked a ticket for my home country. After 20 days went there, however her mind and decision was already changed. She spent some time with me, we slept in a same room but in two different bed for three days. However during morning she used to come to my bed and cuddle with me. However we didn’t had single kiss or sex. She said the same thing later that i want to focus on my career and will get married after 4years and no any relationship.

It was so painful, she was the host of a show and went for audition in 3 different cities in 6 days. I noticed she was sharing the bus with a guy, everywhere she said she don’t like him or do nothing but before my returning flight i saw them together in arms which is she denied again. Now after returning back i saw short insta reel where she is with same guy jn her room , cuddling , sleeping in his chest and when asked she said its just a short movie.

Its heart breaking, when i asked to take me to her room she denied. I feel like i can’t breathe and having anxiety attacks. Back then I helped her moving to a major city from her home town, managed her expenses, gifted her iphone and things as she was interested in content creation. Again after few months i helped her to move in capital city. I fulfilled her every wishes.

Its so painful when i asked about this things, she gets pissed off and tell me to stay away from her personal matter its non of my business. I am so much suffocated, i dont how to pass this moment. The visual are running in my head.

Can anyone help me what to do, how to control myself.