i’m in no contact she’s moved on.

so I was avoidant discarded (buzzword i know) back in november it came out of nowhere with no signs of any discomfort and some of the “reasons” she gave me were that “she’s too young to settle down” “a relationship wasn’t right for her anymore” and “she needs time to be single and figure herself out” she went onto say that she was just as confused as me and doesn’t know why this is what she wants but it is.

since then i have thought of her every single day, i even have a tracker telling me i’ve been in no contact for 55 days (i may remove this as i feel like it’s keeping me stuck). i have been working on myself trying to become better physically mentally and spiritually for myself and also in the hope for a better us.

unfortunately i did abit of stalking and found a playlist that she had made the other day entitled “perhaps one day things will be different, but not today” i then spiralled and stalked her instagram - she changed her bio back to what it was when we first started talking - i started to feel hope. but then i stalked her tiktok reposts and even though i know it only brings more pain and saw her repost a tiktok about essentially replying to multiple men whilst on a date with someone else (not me someone who she must be seeing)

the realisation that i was holding onto hope, not wanting to think of anyone else but her, staying stuck in my hopeful romantic ways. whilst she is out seeing other people. i dont know why im surprised she told me she wanted to be single, i guess she wants to enjoy her freedom whilst she’s young? but anyways that crushing realisation that i was holding onto staying in no contact while she had moved on showed a stark contrast in our healing journeys.