struggling at the moment…

I’ve lurked on here for years, probably made a couple similar posts in the past but I’m back again and seriously looking to quit this time.

The longest I was sober was 10 months a few years ago and I went to AA, I met some lovely people and have the utmost respect for them and their journeys but I felt like it wasn’t for me. I’m autistic and socially awkward when sober so I hated sharing my stories and felt they never compared to others who have struggled with much deeper addictions. I mostly just went because attending meetings and stuff helped me stay motivated to not drink when I went out.

I don’t consider myself to be an alcoholic, I drink only maybe once or twice a month but when I do I binge drink heavily. I don’t do anything bad aside from normal drunk things like maybe fall over or bicker with a friend once in a while but I wake up crippled with anxiety and fear.

I want to quit for good so I can save money and get physically and mentally healthier as I have a lot of goals for this year to better myself. The issue is once the hangover is gone I forget how bad I felt and drink again the next time I go out and so on.

Are there any other resources you’d recommend or advice for something that isn’t AA but would help me stay strong enough to say no to alcohol? Does interacting on this community help? Thanks in advance for any advice!