top surgery regrets nonbinary

i never thought id have to make this post but here goes: i regret top surgery, or rather i should have asked to leave more volume. i had crippling chest dysphoria for a while (21 afab) but overtime it wasnt severely depressing but rather mildly inconvenient having breasts. i was a b cup and i’m nonbinary/genderfluid so i like being able to play around with my gender but i literally had panic attacks about it getting any bigger. i asked for non masculizing top surgery and ive had so many complications: a hematoma on my left side my right side looks caved in and like theres a dog ear but once it was drained i liked the fact that my left side looked like i had a breast mound and i realized fuck i literally just wanted a cups or i should have waited and just kept binding. i feel so fucking stupid and i’m on my university’s health insurance so i don’t know if they would cover reconstruction. i’m mourning because i thought this is what i wanted and i spent years trying to make it happen and now i want the opposite. what do i do??