My twenty second birthday

honestly idk how my life is going. It’s my 22nd birthday. I honestly don’t think my friends care about me that much kinda just walking over me. The friends I want to game or stay in contact with don’t and don’t even game or talk to me much, even when I reach out. The friends that do are honestly just nik, or if someone needs help with their feelings or shit, I’m stressed, my girlfriend is busy, and it’s fine. Still, she just sleeps all the time when we’re together which would be fine if we didn’t spend one fucking day together and out of the 17 hours we are together she sleeps for 10-14 of them she’s amazing apart from that and that she sometimes says she’ll do something then won’t even when i say don’t worry about it and try not to pressure her just telling her my wants and shit so then i feel like i pressure her to cave. Then she says she will, but then doesn’t, so I just lose. idk i honestly am just so done with people in general.

My friends want to party or some shit and invite people I don’t want at my shit without even asking me (Grant). They drink too much, and it’s becoming a pain. idk all I want to do is make YouTube videos, man, and that’s it, but I don’t because I'm so fucking stressed all the time, and my editor just wants me to play games with my friends. It’s a pain. This shit is so fucking exhausting. idk what I want. I just want to stop having so many people fucking requiring me to help them and giving nothing in return. I try so fucking hard to be there for people, and then when I need it, no one shows up. This is probably one of the worst birthdays I've had, but maybe I'll get better. It’s only 5 am rn, so if the day does well, maybe, but honestly idk my friends also fucking tell me they’re going to kill me all the fucking time. It’s getting to my head, so does my girlfriend. If someone says they’re going to kill me today imma crash out, I swear idk maybe not, but shit is getting so fucking old. fuck this shit, man, I don’t fucking care about shit anymore. I have to fucking prepare for my future, be there for my friends, host shit work, do well in school, and try to do the thing I actually love. I’m honestly tired and can’t deal with this shit. I’m not suicidal or wanting to end it, I don’t even think I'm depressed, I'm just stressed and anxious, and shit is tough, and I’m venting. This is just a rant idk what the fuck to do. Any advice?