just want to vent ulit

hi i’m back, kakauwi lang after a fun day out with myself, a solo-date. Pero nung nakapag pahinga ako eveything starts to fall nanaman🥹

while nasa labas kahit may nakikita akong mag jojowa okay lang sakin, like i really don’t care. Pero nung nag rewatch ako ng videos ko, i felt sad and the first thing that came to mind is to watch porn and masturbate. This two is my coping whenever i feel this “yearning” shits or pag may relapse moments. Na, I would start sa first manonood ng videos with may bakat, tapos mag start na manood or tumingin where their penis is out, and dun na ako manonood or mag hahanap ng porn which would then lead to me masturbating and fantasizing my “new” or enhance my old sexual desires.

reason sa title is that, it feels so wrong yet it helps me for a few minutes or hours, na reason why nakakailang rounds ako in a day. Afaik, pinaka madami ko was 7 and yung iba jan, after putok sunod na agad no rest na.

yun lang naman, just want to share lang. Thank you!