AITAH when my wife wants to travel and I want to save for our dream project?

I work for a big tech company and make a six figure salary. My wife has worked for an employer the last 15 years on basically minimum wage. She has made this sacrifice for the part time work and additional holidays which allow her to focus on our two daughters. Our daughters enjoy a pretty privileged life with everyday except Sundays filled with activities most cost a lot of €€€ and take a lot of time, planning and preparation of which my wife does the most of. Last year we visited my home country (we live in her home country) for the first time in 16 years. We had a great trip filled with adventure sports and cultural experiences as well as the first opportunity for our daughters to meet my family. I got to spend quality time with a particular family member who I am close to and it was obviously a special experience for me. After the holiday my wife declared that we should take another trip back for my birthday in three years time. As my country is a 24-26 hour flight from hers and we pay full price for my daughters the flights alone cost over €10,000 even though we fly cattle class.

This year we planned to extend our house which has been a shared dream for some time. It’s going to cost a lot of money, some of which we have saved and some of which I will make from shares which vest in 2026.

This morning my wife expressed her desire to take a trip to Athens which has been a dream of hers for some time as she’s an archeology nerd and the Parthenon is like Mecca, and asked what did I think about going this year. I said I’d really like to save money this year so that we could afford to start work on the house next year and have it completed before we travel to my country again.

I could tell she wasn’t happy. She said maybe we could travel to Athens just the two of us and leave our daughters with a family member to save money. I said but wouldn’t you want to bring our daughters with us to experience it? And she said fine we won’t go. Later she said maybe I’ll go by myself. After thinking about it later this morning I said to her she should go and that I’d like to go with her and her response was I’ll think about it.

Now money has never been something I have kept from her, we have a shared bank account and all our investments (with the exception of my shares) are in both our names.

I’m angry because she’s angry with me about the trip. And now it seems she’s planning to go without me. AITAH?