Should I fast for Ramadan this year ?

The question may seem stupid, but it’s genuinely a dilemma… I grew up in a pretty chill Muslim family and I started fasting when I was like 12. But for the past few months, I’ve been almost certain that I’m not muslim anymore, I no longer identify with this religion.

The problem is the love I have for my mother… She knows that I’m very uninterested in religion, and every time we have a discussion about it, she ends up with tears in her eyes. My father has also become very anti-Islam in recent years (nothing to do with me), so for her it feels like her family is falling apart. Not fasting this year would be like confirmation that I’m completely renouncing this religion, but I love my mother so much that I’m afraid of breaking her heart…

Should I talk to her clearly about it (even though our conversations go nowhere and she just tells me I’m a lost child) or pretend to fast just in front of her??