Healing abandonment trauma and attachment anxiety

Hi, I have always struggled with feeling alone and empty, always romantically obsessed with someone. I probably have quiet BPD and diagnosed ADHD(but not medicated by choice),I have recently left very safe and loving long term relationship and I have been struggling with sleepless nights when the fear of emptiness and loneliness spikes. I am in a loving relationship which is very long distance, we only meet once every couple of weeks, which is very hard given how much I used to rely on coregulation, warmth and safety of a relationship. I did my first trip (3g) two months ago and I have never felt so good as the week after the trip. I felt healed. But now the night terrors are coming back. I am fine during the day, but as my mind starts going offline, the scared childhood parts takeover my mind. It's hell. But it's about 70% intensity compared to what it was like before my first trip. I am planning another session, hoping it will help me heal my trauma step by step. Any experience with healing attachment wounds, BPD like symptoms or abandonment trauma? Any tips or recommendations for books/podcast/meditations? Thanks