I’m struggling with guilt, anger, and becoming a single mom after being abandoned during pregnancy.

Hi everyone. I’m posting because I feel like I’m drowning emotionally, and I need advice from women who’ve been through something similar.

I became a mom this June. I love my daughter more than anything, but the situation with her father has left me with so much hurt, guilt, and anger that I don’t know how to move forward mentally.

I found out I was pregnant in November last year, and instead of stepping up, he gradually pulled away. There were times during my pregnancy when I didn’t hear from him at all. When I was hospitalized for three days, he didn’t check in. When I tried to communicate or express how scared and unsupported I felt, he gaslit me or ignored me. It was like my feelings didn’t matter.

During my pregnancy and postpartum recovery—emotionally and physically—he wasn’t there. Not financially, not emotionally, not physically. I went through everything alone.

Now, months later, he’s acting like I’m the problem. He blocked me. He tells his family things that aren’t true. I’ve always kept communication open for updates about our daughter, but he doesn’t respond or barely engages. His family also watches my page, blocks/unblocks me, and makes everything uncomfortable.

I never imagined being a single mom. I never imagined raising a baby while trying to heal from abandonment at the same time. I feel angry that he gets to live freely while I’m the one carrying all the emotional, physical, and financial weight. I feel guilty that I picked someone who would treat me like this. And I feel sad that my daughter deserved a better father from day one.

What hurts the most is the grief.

Grief for the version of me before all this happened.

Grief for the family I thought I’d have.

Grief for the relationship I tried to protect even when I was hurting.

I’m in nursing school soon, I’m working, I’m trying to get healthy again, and I’m trying to be the best mom possible—but some days I’m so overwhelmed I don’t know how to even process the emotions. I feel like I’m supposed to “be over it” by now, but I’m not. Trauma during pregnancy hits different.

I guess I’m asking:

How did you deal with the anger and guilt after being abandoned during pregnancy?

How did you move on when you were hurt but still had to stay strong for your child?

How do you stop replaying everything in your mind?

Any advice or personal experiences would mean a lot. I just want peace, healing, and to be emotionally free so I can keep being a good mom to my daughter.

Thank you for reading.