Who is the problem here my mother or my younger brother or am i expecting too much?

I had been going thru emotional shit since i was a kid due to my younger brother. He was in hostel during his school days. So when my parents gave him attention when he comes on holidays, i understand. I have got this specific spot which always used to sleep but if he comes i had to give him tat. Tat too noone asks me in a polite way, they just order me or sometimes shout at me if i request tat place if i couldnt sleep in another part of the bed. So i stopped using bed itself and started sleeping floor may be using a mat or blanket to sleep on with. Thn i always used to sleep with hugging a pillow, since he saw me getting comfortable with sleeping down, he started asking fr exact same pillow i use or sometimes my blanket. And if i start refusing, they address me as rude or my mother scolds me as certain words which i dont want to use. I was always potrayed as a bad person. They told me to adjust bcuz he comes home only few days. If i dont, i have been called out names. He tries to grasp my things forcefully, like on purpose to start a fight. If i fight my mother beats me. He gives all these weird stares at me too, just to annoy me, if i shout or raise my hand against him, my mother beats me. I thought he was in hostel all these favouring. So i joined hostel fr my ug. But when i came home, i was still sleeping on the floor, none of my fav foods were made, i was never recieved the way he was recieved. I stayed in the hostel alone most of the govt holidays, giving excuses tat i didnt get ticket to come home, etc. Though mess will be closed in hostel i stayed their, i survived with fruits and watever i was able to but. So i completed my ug and came home. Preparing fr entrance exams currently. My bro is going fr work, staying outside hometown. I am being constantly belittled by him and my mother. They character shame stating i have zero tolerance dont adjust to anyone, blah blah. Yesterday my bro called me to accompany him fr movie, so i went with him, he took to certain shop, asked me wat i wanted to eat, i was luking at the menu and all and when i told him i wanted to eat an icecream, tat is the basic thing they have fr 34 rs, he told me, do u seriously think i am going to buy u this and started laughing. Today my mother was busy with someother work and the gate was locked. So she asked him to open the gate and she continued her work. Literally for 15 mins i was pressing the horn and tapping the gate, my entire neighbourhood came shouting at me, fr with i didnt give a fuck and continued pressing horn. He just stood outside door after sometime and was just looking wat i was abt to do instd of opening the door. Not just this incident. Many such incidents hpnd thruout my life. I dont know whether i am being hated bcuz i am girl, or bcuz i am failure or bcuz no one actually loves me. Or am i just expecting to much?