Open note to my young coworker

I’m posting this here hoping that maybe they will somehow receive this message.

Entirely inappropriate for me to have said anything to them directly. They didn’t ask. But. They also didn’t make any effort to make what should have been a private phone conversation quiet. We were sitting inches apart. I’m sorry. I couldn’t not hear.

So here’s my message. And what I really hope gets to you.

If you’re in a relationship with someone and you have to tell them repeatedly to stop being nasty. Move on.

If you find yourself trying to explain to them that every time you’re hurt or upset about something, they shut you down and get mean. Move on.

If you’re trying to explain to someone that it’s completely reasonable for you to be upset after they’ve done something harmful to you. Move on.

You are young. You are bright. You’re clearly emotionally intelligent. You’re patient. And you’re clearly willing to put effort in.

You’re also hard-working in a profession that will drain you. You need a partner who at the very least is not also going to drain you.

I don’t care about what the backstory is. One of you is doing a whole lot of work and remaining calm and respectful. And the other one of you is stonewalling and denying that there’s a problem and getting nasty.

Move on. You deserve better. Good partners don’t need to have someone explain to them how to be a good person.