TW for self harm (?)

I hate my body so much. I’m trans and a teen so I can’t get hrt or surgery, and my dad is transphobic so I can’t get clothes or be called my preferred name (Cosette.) I punch myself all the time just to distract myself from my hatred for my own body. My voice is deepening, my face is becoming more masc, my tummy is only getting bigger no matter how healthy I try to be. My knuckles and ankles hurt.