Cryptid Chronicle - Chapter 144

Chapter 144: A Colossal Affair In West Egg

The cab ride had been mercifully uneventful as the sun set over the eastern mountains beyond the strait, allowing Andy to put the unsettling woman and her prophetic words out of his mind. The water taxi was loud, and the wind tugged at Andy’s hair as they sped over the water toward the lights of the city of Tlax’colan on the northern side of the Vaascon Strait. Looming large ahead of them was a line of seawalls, providing artificial harbors leading to mansions that looked out over the water through greenery. His own tall manse cast long shadows over the smooth granite exteriors that gleamed in the last of the fading light.

Sudden deceleration threatened Andy’s balance, but years of experience kept him upright as they pulled around an ‘L’ shaped sea wall. Around the sea wall lay a private artificial cove with a dockhouse at the end of a pier on the other side, near the beach. The drone taxi coasted into and gently bumped the cushion on the guard pylons as it came to a full stop.

Kalai stepped off nimbly ahead of Sitry and Andy, quickly extending a polite hand to help him out of the boat. Andy accepted it while Sitry paid the drone before awkwardly trying to step over the gunwale in her skirt. Andy quickly lent a hand as he steadied her until Sitry found her feet on the little pier.

“Master Shelokset, welcome home, Lady He’osforos, Donna-”

Andy nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden appearance of a middle aged woman with an electric lantern behind them as she exited the dockhouse.

“Please forgive me for startling you,” the woman apologized amiably as Kalai and Sitry interposed themselves between her and Andy, “I am Que’rida Or’dega, your Estate Seneschal. If you will follow me, Mr. Shelokset, I would be happy to lead you into your home and introduce you to your staff.”

“Seneschal? Staff?” Andy asked in a daze as the woman politely beckoned them to follow her up the stairs along the sea wall to the grounds above, “I don’t understand.”

“The staff of your estate, Master Shelokset,” the woman answered patiently with a kind smile, “As a gentleman ward of the Zhukar, it would be unseemly for a man to have no staff in assisting him with the management of his properties. I do wish to apologize preemptively, however, while we were able to prepare your rooms, we have not yet had the chance to prepare rooms for overnight guests.”

Andy felt himself flush as he quickly looked over at his dates and saw that they were having a similar reaction. Leadenly, they fell in line behind her as she continued to speak.

“In truth, sir, we weren’t expecting you for another few hours, given your social commitment. Considering the time, we can arrange supper if you and your guests are hungry?”

“We, uh… have ‘to go’ bags from the restaurant…” Sitry offered, raising one of the bags full of leftovers they’d brought with them from Family Meal.

“I would be happy to bring them to the Kitchens and have them warmed and replated,” the woman replied in a chipper tone.

Reaching the top of the stairs, they entered a wide, overgrown garden area that led toward the manse. The grounds extended around the four story mansion that looked out over the water, and Andy stared up at the veritable palace with his mouth agape until he heard familiar percussive barking approaching rapidly through the long, blue grass.

“What the… Puck?!” Andy nearly yelled as the fluffy white American Eskimo Dog leapt up at him, happily. Andy only just managed to block the dog, seeing his muddy paws just in time to protect his pants. Looking up at the woman as he held the happily whimpering dog, Andy squawked his questions. “How?! When?!”

“Lady Al’Zhukar insisted,” the woman canted her head to the side as she smiled down at him and the girls, “All will be made clear by your Valet, Mr. Shelokset, if you would accompany me.”

Andy and the girls walked behind their guide with Puck strutting along beside them into the back entrance, which sat in the center of a deep, colonnaded veranda, well lit from great multistory bay windows looking over the water. Walking through the wide double doors, Andy marveled at the three story tall living room, where an upper balcony inside rang around the oval inside on the second floor. There was furniture present, clearly couches, tables, and various fixtures, but they were all covered in sheets as rolls of rugs lay off to the side. A great fireplace was ensconced in the western wall, but it was empty and dark with a large white sheet in front of it, clearly being prepared for a cleaning and inspection.

Upon entering, there appeared two families of Shil’vati who arranged themselves into two separate lines, side by side, as though they were on a military parade. The line to the left of Andy, wearing what was clearly the Vaascon traditional paseado style with skirts on the eight women, while the singular gentleman was wearing breeches and long socks. The second family unit to his right wore robes and sheer veils, with twelve women and two men, clearly Shil’vati from the Im’Azigh tribes south of the Strait.

The woman with the lantern stood by Andy’s side. “Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present Mr. Andrei Shelokset and his guests, Lady Kalai He’osforos and Donna Sitry Vaida. Allow me to introduce my husband, our seven khos.”

Stepping forward first, the Shil’vati gentleman in the Vaascon attire bowed in proper courtly fashion. “Gar’zea Or’dega nee Ser’erra. I am your House Manager. My wives and I are at your service, sir.”

One by one, Andy went down the line of the Vaascon women, bumping fists with the assembled Vaascons as he met his laundresses and his kitchen staff in a daze.

“Am’nukal Ahn’dray,” the leading veiled Im’Azhigh woman purred as she sank down on her knee, “I am Tcha’quira El’Guer’rouj. I am in charge of security as your personal Fha’riiz.”

“Wha… WHAT?!” Kalai screeched, “Since when did you have Knights assigned to you?! That’s… that’s reserved for-”

“My lady He’osforos, Am’nukal Ahn’dray is sponsored by the Zhukar. As the ward of my Lady Gar’maena, he is accorded the right to personal retainers,” the woman answered matter of factly as she rose, “Allow me to present my three daughters na-Fha’riiz Ti’fawt, na-Fha’riiz M’Barca, and na-Fha’riiz Ty’zemt.”

“Am’nukal,” the next three women in their line presented themselves, sinking down to their knees as they saluted him.

“Each has served a tour in the Marines,” their mother Tcha’quira intoned, “and each has earned the right to bear our liege-lady’s emblem. We will guard you well.”

“Forgive my wife’s militaristic femininity, Master Shelokset,” the first gentleman in their line announced as he stepped forward with a bow, “I am Va’rouq El’Guer’rouj, your Valet. May I present my other wife, Ar’alein… and my sisters.”

Again, Andy bumped fists with them all as they presented themselves as his groundskeepers and his maids.

“And this is my son, Vai’zaal. He is in training to become a certified Valet, and is acting as my apprentice,” the man announced proudly as the last of their number presented himself.

“My lord,” the young man offered, and Andy could see that he was only a little older than he was himself. The man bumped fists and then stepped back, standing beside his father as the whole company stood at attention and stared expectantly.

Andy, put on the spot, realized they’re waiting for him to address them as their new lord. Fumbling for words, Andy did his best. “Ladies and gentlemen… I… I don’t know exactly what to say. I… forgive me, but… I am not sure how I’m going to be able to afford to pay all of you…”

“If I may, Master Shelokset?” Mrs. Or’dega mercifully stepped forward to rescue him as he flushed with embarrassment, “Your finances are such that you have an income of fifty thousand a year prior to taxes. You have a current investment of fifty thousand with the Zan’tinjo Banking Firm with a historical return of seven to twelve percent per annum. While not destitute, your sources of income would normally not be able to support a staff of this size… however…”

“However?” Andy asked as he and the girls leaned in to hear the pronouncement.

“All our salaries are paid by the Al’Zhukar Estate, and will not affect your finances. In addition to our salaries, the Al’Zhukar Estate has authorized a budget for the household that will cover most if not all expenses… until such time as your future nuptials oblige your wives and their estates to assume financial responsibility for your properties and finances.”

Andy blinked in disbelief, hardly daring to believe what he’d just heard.

“Now, Mr. Shelokset, if you’ll kindly allow us to take your bags, we will be happy to prepare your leftovers for supper. In addition, His Grace, Duke He’osforos, and Donna-Conda Vaida are expected any minute. If you would follow me, the third story east drawing room is the only common area presentable,” the woman quietly dismissed the staff with a nod of her head as she held out her hand to the girls.

The woman’s wives politely retrieved their to-go bags as the staff disappeared through doors and entryways hidden between the empty walls where once paintings and statues must have hung, while the woman beckoned them to follow again.

Andy and the girls followed, clustered together until they reached a spartan room a floor up with a window to the balcony looking out over the water to the south. Emerging from a side door, Va’rouq and Vai’zaal appeared shortly after them, carrying a serving tray with a crystal decanter filled with a deep burgundy liquid.

“From your wine cellar, Master Shelokset, the Khalista 06. Lady Al’Zhukar informs us that you are rather partial to the Occidens orchards.” Vai’zaal, the apprentice valet, spoke in a clear and precise tone, serving them under the watchful and silent gaze of his father.

“Uh… yes, please,” Andy nodded, automatically taking the glass he was offered. Looking at Vai'zaal's father, he caught the subtle knowing glance and the faint smile.

Is this their way of telling me it’s a Geserias?

The girls accepted theirs too, following his example as Vai’zaal bowed, leaving the decanter and the tray on the coffee table before moving back to a little observation corner with his father to act as their chaperones.

“Andy?” Sitry asked after taking a sip, “Are you alright?”

“I’m still processing,” Andy replied truthfully as he looked out the great window that looked down the coast to the bay, and he could see the lights of VRISM and the city that climbed up the base of the mountain where the Blue Palace sat. “I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that we’re sitting in… my house… drinking oborodo from my wine cellar… while my Valets are standing in the corner, keeping watch over us.”

“Please pay us no mind, Mr. Shelokset,” Va’rouq added apologetically, “We are here to see to your needs, nothing more.”

Andy smiled and nodded at them, “It’s just-”

A knock on the door interrupted him as Mr. Or’dega entered, “Announcing his grace, Duke Akil’eas He’osforos and Donna-Conde Aftasia Vaida.”

Side stepping the two adults as they charged in, Mr. Or’dega excused himself while the girls were accosted by their parents. “Oh, thank the Greenwood, you two are alright!” Aftasia cried.

Andy watched with a slight pang of jealousy until Dr. He’osforos released his daughter and hugged him, too. Behind the good doctor, Andy caught Vai’zaal stealthily moving to bring two more glasses and watched, half listening to the admonitions of his patrons as the young valet set them on the tray by the decanter.

“We were so worried, and when we got separated, naturally, we were beside ourselves,” Dr. He’osforos finished as he released Andy and they all took their seats.

“Well, luckily, we made it to a safe alternate, thanks to Kalai and Sitry. We also picked up dinner and dessert for you both, too,” Andy smiled, trying his best to build up his girls while distracting their parents.

Aftasia’s long red ears twisted back as she looked down at her daughter, “That is most thoughtful, but-”

“Mama, Chef Ad’maavat of The Southern Grotto was our chef!”

Both Dr. He’osforos’ and Aftasia’s eyes bulged. “You’re kidding!”

“We’re really not,” Andy smiled, raising his glass in a silent toast to Kalai and Sitry, “These two arranged it, and given our time constraints, the Chef was kind enough to prepare us a meal to go. I gave the food to my… kitchen staff… God, that’s weird to say out loud.”

“Supper, I’m informed, will be ready in another fifteen minutes, Mr. Shelokset,” Va’rouq added helpfully, checking his omnipad, “And will be served in the dining room.”

Dr. He’osforos stared at the two gentlemen for a moment before rising to pour himself and Aftasia a glass of oborodo.

With a heavy sigh, he sat down again and leaned forward. “So, Andrei, it sounds like we’ve enough time for you to tell us a little about the circumstances we now find ourselves in, and what happened in our absence.”

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“Good morning, Master Shelokset. I trust you slept well?”

“I… what?” Andy squinted against the sudden burst of light that hit his face, rousing him from his admittedly fitful sleep in his new bed. Stirring creakily awake, Andy looked around for his missing morning alarm. “Wait, where’s Puck?”

“Puck is currently chasing Sandcombers in the gardens, and by his enthusiasm, is having a marvelous morning,” the blurry outline that sounded like a man replied as he moved about the room.

“Sandcombers?” Andy asked as he swung his feet out of the massive bed, only to step on a pair of soft slippers.

“A type of avian, Master Shelokset. They’re quite quick, but completely harmless,” The violet hazy shape of a person resolved into Andy’s head valet, Va’rouq, holding up a robe for him. “Not knowing your routines yet, my son and I have not had the opportunity to prepare your morning. We can have a bath drawn and breakfast prepared to your specifications, though there will be a slight delay.”

Andy instinctively allowed himself to be robed and slid his feet into slippers. “Uh… thank you, I’ll just take a shower, if that’s possible? And breakfast… uh… I don’t eat much, especially compared to a Shil’vati. Whatever’s available is fine,” he mumbled as he tried to take stock of his bearings and find the bathroom.

“Of course, sir, the facilities are this way,” the man gently corrected Andy’s direction as he led him to the opulent bathroom located off to the side. Andy was nearly blinded again by the bright light reflecting off the white and silver decor. Squinting, Andy could just make out a raised hot tub with a lounging couch and bench seating inside it that was currently empty. To the opposite side, a walk-in shower area with room for at least five people and a frosted glass door lay open. When Andy emerged from the watercloset, he found the shower steaming with multiple nozzles raining down warm water from the ceiling and the walls.

Though the water was cooler than he preferred and he didn’t yet know the controls, Andy couldn’t help but fall in love with his new shower. Exiting, he started badly when he found Vai’zaal waiting with a towel, completely at ease despite Andy’s shyness. Without a word, the young man left Andy to dry himself while he fetched Andy’s robe before silently moving back to the bedroom.

“Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes, sir, and you also have a caller this morning. Lady Gae’maena Al’Zhukar wishes to speak with you at your earliest convenience. We’ve also been informed that the next round of furniture is due to be delivered later this morning, and the Vaidas have confirmed a shipment of plants to populate the gardens.”

Andy cinched his robe shut as he reentered his room to find his bed made and clothes laid out on the duvet. Buttling around the room, Vai’zaal returned to present a folded note written on cardstock. “This was delivered this morning from Donna Sitry Vaida and Lady Kalai He’osforos, who send their best wishes, and this message.”

Andy opened the note to find a handwritten thank you letter from the girls for yesterday evening, with a cryptic message about their early housewarming gifts, and hoping that he likes them.

Andy nodded as he threw off his robe in order to dress. “I’ll step on the gas, then, especially if she’s waiting.”

“Allow me to assist you, sir,” Vai’saal offered as he began to blowdry Andy’s hair, which is a weird sensation for someone else to do it for him.

--------------

Andy descended the gently spiraling staircase down to one of the living rooms to the little library where Lady Al’Zhukar had been waiting for him. She seemed to be in conference with Mrs. El’Guer’rouj, his resident knight.

At a flick of the woman’s eyes, Lady Al’Zhukar turned and smiled brightly at Andy as he approached. “My dear Ahn’dray, good morning!”

The other woman took her silent leave with a bow, leaving the two of them alone. “Morning, boss,” Andy deliberately forced himself to relax and act pleasantly as he inclined his head.

Al’Zhukar hummed her laughter as she gently wound her arm in his and began walking with him. “It’s the morning of the first day of the Shel. We’re off the clock, so to speak.”

Andy could feel his fixed smile threaten to flatten, so he twisted his head to look up at the slightly taller woman. “My lady, have you had breakfast yet?”

“Are you offering?” she asked, eyes flashing with interest as she cocked an eyebrow at him.

“I am,” Andy answered in a magnanimous tone, “Would you care to join me?”

“Why, my dear Ahn’dray, we’ll make a Noble of you yet,” Al’Zhukar purred as one of the maids appeared, curtseying as she turned to lead them toward the dining room, “How are you liking your new home?”

“It’s new,” Andy replied pointedly, “And I’m kind of curious as to how I’m going to afford utilities, upkeep, food, and all the other incidentals that go into… home ownership and independent living.”

Al’Zhukar offered an uncharacteristic giggle at his accidental adoption of her cadence and mannerism. “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, my dear Ahn’dray. Perhaps I should surround you with more of my people, or encourage more of my kinswomen and clan to court you. A little more exposure and you’ll be sounding like a proper Im’Azigh Am’nukal in no time!”

“Me heap big doubt it, *Kemosabe*,” Andy growled, affecting the deepest caricature of a Native American accent that he could.

Al’Zhukar genuinely laughed as they were shown into the diningroom, where a long table sat in what Andy could only describe as a hallway with delusions of grandeur. Thankfully, Andy’s place at the head of the table had his guest sitting next to him, and they were seated and served a selection of fruits and fresh biscuits, along with several silver dishes containing different preserves.

The two of them waited until they were alone again before Al’Zhukar began to speak. “To satisfy your curiosity with regard to your finances… I… am taking care of what isn’t being covered by the Vaida’s patronage. Your salary as an Agent of the Interior will be paid into a trust to prevent any… pesky investigative accountants… and that trust will anonymously pay all the bills, as it were.”

Andy nodded, unsurprised that she had planned for things well in advance in such a way that gave him little to no actual power or agency. “So I’m not to worry about it’, eh?”

The woman gave him her signature Cheshire cat grin. “Fear not, my dear Ahn’dray, you won’t be impoverished or indebted by the upkeep of this estate. Given your frugality, I believe that when you take the Financial and Estate Management courses next year, you will substantially sell the idea that House Shelokset is a rising political and economic star.”

“So now it’s not Subversion and Sedition you’re having me commit, it’s Blood-Fraud and Impersonation of a Noble,” Andy heaved an exasperated sigh as he applied jam to a hot biscuit.

“If done without permission, that would be an astute observation and an excellent set of charges to levy against you,” Al’Zhukar smiled before daintily nibbling on a piece of fruit, “But as you have permission…”

Andy sucked in a breath and gave the woman an unimpressed glare, “I’m actually acting under orders in an undercover operation, granting me immunity from actions ordered by my handler.”

“I see you’ve been studying the Law,” Al’Zhukar grinned proudly with a motherly smile.

Letting a short pause end the topic of conversation, Andy took a few bites before he broached another topic that was pressing on his mind. “May I ask why all my things were moved here? It was implied by Mrs. Or’dega that you gave the orders that I need to live here now. Is there a reason I can’t stay on campus?”

“You may ask, and I will answer,” the woman’s smile became rather fixed, though her eyes all but screamed in frustration. It was very offputting to see her reveal so much of her emotions as she spoke. “You have forced my hand, my dear Ahn’dray. As you patently refuse to take even the most basic steps to ensure your own safety. You still refuse to carry your sidearm. You have, thus far, refused to spend any time with your Training Agent. You have not qualified for, nor passed, any of the certifications required of a new Agent. Worst of all… you continue to sleep on the balcony of your dormroom, in plain view of the street. The fact that you have not yet been killed is a testament to the security of my investigation. That investigation, however, has now progressed to a point that I can no longer control all the variables. Therefore, in the interest of seeing to it that you live… I have arranged it so that this gift made by a silly, lovestruck young woman with more money than sense is put to good use. Your servants are mine, your retainers are mine… and I assure you that they are as well trained and experienced as you are when it comes to certain… desirable skills.”

“Agents?” Andy asked through gritted teeth.

“You’re not to know,” Al’Zhukar answered coldly.

“Death’s Heads?!”

“You’re not… to know,” Al’Zhukar growled, holding Andy’s stare until he felt himself relent. Once he had, her affable and amiable air returned, and her tone softened considerably. “That aside, they are all classically trained, experienced, and certified Estate professionals; and what’s more… I trust them… not only with your life, but also with mine.”

“Why do I get the feeling that this is just the jail cell I thought I wouldn’t see, and that my servants are just wardens in fancy clothes?” Andy grumped, no longer hungry.

“A key difference between prisons and fortresses is that the walls of this palace are being hardened to keep assassins out, while prisons are built to keep the unwilling in. And with regard to your staff being your servants or your wardens? That will entirely depend on how you treat them… and whether or not you make their jobs easy.”

Unbidden, Andy suddenly had flashes of all the times in the Shil’vati books he’d been forced to read, that many nobles were entirely reliant on their servants, who oftentimes quietly ran their noble’s life for them. “I understand. So where do you want me to start?” he asked, wondering what fresh hell she had planned for him.

“I’d like you to start by taking today to rest. Agent Se’fanikos has requested some time for her family, which… conveniently gives you two days to familiarize yourself with your new home and the grounds. Perhaps get to know your servants, and ask their opinions, especially your valets, on how to be a proper host for the party you’ll be throwing at the end of next week. It promises to be quite the occasion!”

Her words sent a sudden, horror inspired chill up his spine as he remembered the party he was meant to be hosting. “What exactly do you mean by that? It’s only supposed to be for close friends and suitors!”

“The guest list, as I’ve seen it, currently consists of close to three hundred guests. Almost the entire register of the first order of The Season. I must say, people wish to see the lair of the Human Dragon, and given what I know of the Vaidas little housewarming gifts? There shouldn’t be any disappointment, my dear Ahn’dray.”

“Oh dear God,” Andy shut his eyes, praying he was still asleep, “What’s this turning into?”

Al’Zhukar patted his hand affectionately, “A test, of sorts. Can you rise to the occasion? Can you navigate the world in which you find yourself in such a way that will help keep you alive? I daresay that by recognizing and utilizing your position and potential influence, you may be able to affect outcomes for your People, despite the… social situation you find yourself in with regard to the Salish Indian Nation*.*”

The gaunt woman rose from her seat, and instinctively, Andy rose too as she inclined her head to him. “Thank you, my dear Ahn’dray, breakfast was quite delicious, but alas… I have prior commitments I must attend to, and must take my leave. Some words of advice, before I do, however. I would expect that after Al’antel’s own morning engagement is concluded, he will wish to see your home for himself. Prepare to be boarded, as it were. I will also say that… you may depend on the discretion of your Staff… should you be in need of it… but that they have no secrets from me. Good day to you, my dear Ahn’dray.”

“Good day, Lady Al’Zhukar,” Andy responded automatically as he felt himself cast adrift trying to interpret the message she’d left him with.

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“FRIEND ANDY!!” Al’antel Zu’layman declared grandiosely as he exited his family carriage, “Oh, it’s so good to see you! It feels like an AGE since we’ve been together!”

“We saw each other two nights ago!” Andy embraced his friend as he met them outside the entrance to his home. The afternoon’s warm sun was mitigated by the cool wind as the boys from the Fashion Club ascended the steps of the front entrance to Andy’s palace. Behind them, moving trucks and cargo drones filled with Arborial oddities and specimens were being unloaded alongside deliveries of disassembled furniture and building materials. All around them swarmed Erbian arborists and gardeners, while Shil’vati workwomen coordinated with Andy’s Seneschal and Staff Manager as they prepared his home for habitation and for their guests.

“And it felt like an eternity!” Al cried as the other boys gathered themselves around the two of them, eyeing up the furniture and plants as well as the swarthy women who made no secret of their desire to catch their eyes. Only the glares of their forewomen and the dour presence of Andy’s Knight and her three Squires kept the boys safe from anything more than looks and feats of strength. “Besides, we have GOSSIP!! You’ll never believe what happened this morning! Brings-Joy is going to need your services soon!”

“My lord!” the Gearchilde boy with his orange skin and his vibrant silver prosthetic circuitry whined, “I want to tell him!”

“Welcome, guys,” Andy smiled, hugging each of his friends in turn as he noted that Anzico was wearing ‘cool dark shades’ and was dressed very conservatively compared to the relaxed and somewhat skimpy daywear of all the other boys by Shil standards. “The main house is a bit of a shambles, and I’ve been told by my new Seneschal that I can’t receive guests anywhere except the Guest Grotto.”

“Then lead the way, my good man!” Al’antel declared, while Andy’s maids appeared as if by magic to politely take charge of coats, hats, and the many, many bags the boys had brought with them.

“Hey Andy, have you finished all the pre-class notes for the Symposium in Feudalism this week?” Naranjo asked, trotting forward to bookend him with Al’antel, “I need to finish the section on the history of entitlement programs Post Second War of Refusal.”

“Yeah, you can borrow mine, just… don’t make it look like you copied me,” Andy smirked, knowing Narny was just going to copy and paste the whole thing.

“I’m not on the Panel, so I just have to be ready to write a reflection on the actual debate,” the lop-eared bunnyboy lilted happily as they continued on their way.

Walking around the outside of the house under the tall colonnaded veranda, Andy processed the menagerie of boys toward the western side of the estate, where a shuttlepad built off the side wall with his neighbor led into the underground complex of the manor. Following the directions he’d memorized from Va’rouq, Andy was proud of himself for managing not to get lost as they found themselves in the underground guesthouse built into the sea wall. Inside, the main common room sat in the middle of the cozy apartments with an underwater window looking into the clear water of Andy’s private little harbor.

Though he’d been told about it, Andy still couldn’t help the quiet little ‘holy shit’ that escaped his lips when he saw the little coral reef with its schools of colorful fish swimming around, giving the room an ethereal play of light through a living painting.

“Oh, a coral garden!” Al’antel exclaimed as the boys quickly began to rearrange the furniture for themselves, “You hardly see these anymore! Oh, they’re so difficult to establish, but once they are? They’re the most sublime feature! Is there a moon pool attached to the grotto?”

“Oh, that will be divine when the weather warms up! They’re really good for swimming in,” Segaro chuffed, his well groomed tail wagging with delight that no Rakiri was ever capable of hiding, “Raise the shark net, and they’re so much better than a pool!”

“My lords, young Masters, welcome,” Va’rouq greeted them all as he and his son brought a full tea service. “Will our guests be staying for luncheon?”

“Yes,” Andy replied without hesitation before Al could have a chance to make puppy eyes at him, “If that isn’t an inconvenience-”

“Of course not, Mr. Shelokset,” the gentleman smiled warmly, “We are honored by their presence, and happy to accommodate you.”

Al’antel let out an excited little squeal as he gently pulled Andy toward the couch, where all the boys were gathering.

“Oh, Andy, you won’t BELIEVE what happened at our tandem date this morning!” Brings-Joy crowed excitedly, his auto-tuned voice dancing musically as all the boys excitedly leaned in, “We were all but mobbed at our little outing! So many suitors just happened to be taking a walk along the Old Sea Wall, and they were lining up by the score to clamour for Narny and I’s attention! We were positively showered with gifts and trinkets!”

“Anyone give you a house?” Andy asked sardonically as the whole throng broke out into giggles.

“No,” Brings-Joy replied petulantly, pouting for a moment before Narny, who was sitting next to him, nudged him in his ribs, “But I did get a rather decadent new hover-carriage!”

“What?!” Andy squawked as he noticed Al’antel practically vibrating in his seat, holding his hands daintily over his mouth as he clearly was trying to let someone else tell the story.

“Oh, that’s not the scandalous part!” Segaro rumbled with a haughty air, “The scandalous part is that he almost got caught christening it with the girl who gave it to him!”

“I apologize for nothing!” Brings-Joy sang, “I’m determined to marry her anyway, so I… got a little bit of a… head start.”

“More like he test drove his new ride,” Narny hissed while several boys blushed deeply, catcalling their friend who stood and bowed to them all.

“I believe the proper Vaascon euphemism is ‘He anticipated his vows’!” One of the other Erbian boys giggled while the whole party laughed.

“And Narny was such a good chaperone,” Brings-Joy cooed as he resumed his seat, “He managed to distract everyone with a dramatic retelling of his heroic rescue of his cousin in the Ring. It was all so engrossing that no one was the wiser for our little… disappearance!”

“If he were a good chaperone,” Anzico purred, “Wouldn’t he have stopped you two from entwining?”

Snickers arose as Brings-Joy flushed a burnt umber. “Don’t laugh! I did not break the rules… technically… and my future wives may still have the honor of claiming me upon our wedding night; but beyond that, it was positively wonderful! Oh, to be held like that again, and she was so giving!”

“I would have thought it was you who was doing the giving?” Segaro snarked.

Brings-Joy flushed even more as the boys fell over themselves mirthfully, “Well, at least I’ve chosen my first paramour, and I left her in such a state that she’ll be wanting more.”

“Speaking of,” Al’antel’s voice acquired an interrogative tone, “What of you, Friend Andy? How did your date with Lady He’osforos and Donna Vaida go?”

Andy smiled genuinely as all eyes turned to him. “I had the most excellent time walking through all the sights of The Bridge. They even arranged it so that Chef Ad’maavat made our dinner into a private affair.”

Gasps rose from the entire assembly, while Narny shot Andy a conspiratorial and knowing look. “Did they… get you anything?” he asked in that tone only a sibling looking to cause mischief could have.

“I’m told they had a hand in picking out some of the plants that are being delivered now,” Andy deflected, refusing to bring any shade or shame to his choice suitors.

Narny was doing his best to stare Andy down while the whole crowd tittered among themselves when an insistent cough from the doorway caught Andy’s attention. “Mr. Shelokset, I do regret intruding on you, sir, but your opinion is needed about the placement of the arboreal gifts from Lady He’osforos and Donna Vaida.”

Va’rouq had come back, this time carrying a tray of confections.

“I’m sorry, what?” Andy asked as he noticed Narny quietly getting out his omnipad, holding it like a camera, and smirking as he directed it at him.

“The workwomen would like to know where they should plant the five Red Cedar trees. Given that they’re saplings, the Arborists say these trees should stand twice the height of the manor when they reach their full maturity. Given the potential to spoil a view, we would like to know where you’d like to have them planted.”

“They got me… Red Cedars?!” Andy shot up, eliciting a surprised squeak from Al’antel. Looking from his Valet back to his friends, he spoke in an excited whisper. “Gentlemen, please excuse me… I… I have to see this for myself!”

Propriety abandoned, Andy started to run, chased by Narny’s voice as he told the boys the reason for Andy’s excitement. “They’re trees from his homeland, and they’re super important to Salish Culture!”

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