[1746] Uncle George

critique (1951)

writing (1746)

Hi!

This is my first time posting here. I'm experienced with writing in general, but not fiction specifically, which I recently decided to try out. The other week, an idea for a story came to me which I've been very excited about. This is a horror / mystery / weird fiction story, although that might not come across in what's written here. These are only the first few scenes of a 10k+ word draft.

I'd like to know about whether this provides a compelling hook for the rest. I'd also appreciate observations about my style of prose and word choice. I want to hit a happy medium between overwrought and dull. Another particular thing that I'd like feedback on is the balance between exposition/background details and action/dialogue. Are both equally interesting to read? And do the transitions feel like they make sense? Of course, overall impressions are appreciated too.

Thanks for your help!