For you from me.

Well I doubt you ever get to read this. I hope that you could tho. So you was my everything. Everything I've ever dreamed of and more. You became my entire world. You brought me happiness and joy and peace. You made everything have beauty. I started seeing the world differently. Started thinking differently. I wasn't selfish anymore. I wasn't only worried about myself. You made me whole. Finally, my better half. I lived and breathed you. We loved each other fully wholeheartedly. Everything seemed to finally come together.
Girl, I am still trying to work past the shame and guilt of what I caused. I'm sorry I became an addict and let it all slip. I had you right in my hands and it was as if you became water and just dropped from my hands and nothing I could do to stop it. I hurt you you hurt me. I guess what was done in the darkness did come to light well I think so. Idk. What I do know is I never wanted to ever hurt my dearest friend. You was my best friend my only friend and you gave me the greatest gift ever. Our daughter my little sunshine. The pain it has cause to be 2000 miles away is something unexplainable. It really will work on your mental health. I did what you asked and I came here. I was slow at first with my objective but it wasnt something that this place was ever gonna help. I was depressed down and out and broken. Broken so bad all I could do was just stare out the window silently. I cried like a baby for over 2 years straight trying to get a conversation every single day. For 2 people to be so close to go to strangers in 1 night really did shock me. As if all the good times never happened. Leaving me lost broken and at rock bottom. I tried it all to please you all the while your at home playing house with another. My guilt shame thought of suicide all played it's toll. While you didn't even care. Trying so hard to get anything out of you became painful. So excited to try only hurt over being ignored. 7 years of me trying to gain you back all the while you leading me to believe one thing your all happy with another. Everything I did here I did hoping to gain your praise and approval in hopes of gaining you back someday. Only to realize I was right all along. People can change and it never had to be this way but now I see the real you. And the real you is just as bad as what you see as the real me. I hate to think it about you. All those things you did to straight up rip me apart nothing, petty bullshit compared to the love I have for you. Even the pain and hurt and betrayel wasn't enough to stop it. Still loving you today but only in my head. I never wanted to say no more and I want. What I will say is now knowing what I know I am always here for you. Don't worry about the bullshit I love you and even the bullshit can't change that. We both was fucked up remember. Now we aren't. Now I can see clearly and even tho that past pain keeps me hurting and keeps me thinking I'm crazy it can't stop it. If someday you think you can actually love me again I'm here. My love never stopped. I'm still the same guy you just never cared enough to see the changes. You chose to listen to others that actually do not know me at all. People that have never knowne on a personal level ever and you chose to take their words and turn me into someone they wanted you to believe I was. Well that's just not correct. You could've found out for yourself by taking the time to get to know me again but you chose them to be true. Their not their doing this deliberately to keep me from you. They're thinking I had something to do with something that I'm not so sure about. It's the reason cause I am not that person they tell you I am. I amuch different. But one thing I am. I am not gonna be someones puppet anymore. You leftenwhen I needed you the most and purposely you chose to leave me homeless alone and broken. While you gave your gay ass cross dressing friend my time my wife and our family. And you enjoyed it as well. While I sat crying and hurt confused and needing you and our daughter's love. I could get down and dirty with what all did happen but no need. You tricked me into leaving the women I loved most you and our daughter to get help and to return. Only for me to realize I was tricked into leaving so you could just be rid of me. Hind sight is always 20-20. As much as it hurt me as much as living with the shame and hurt I caused you I stand here today proud to say I still love you. Knowing what you did and caused and how it effected me and my health and life I still stand with arms wide open only for you my love. If you ever could find your way to me. After all this time this past holidays was it for me. That was the last time I would ever be ignored by you. Leaving the game ball in your court if anything was to change it will have to be you cause I've said enough of hanging there you directing me thru life only to be directed to destruction cause of your anger and even possible hate. Trying to show you the change I'm standing over looking that bullshit you tried to ruin me with waiting and hoping you find me again. If not then I will continue living alone cause there's no one that can take your place. If you never show them you can live with the pain of what you caused knowing you didn't have to do what you did but cause of your people and the anger you decided that was the best idea to achieve your revenge right. Well your revenge is what's gonna one day sit you down and rip you apart. And when it does it'll be too late. But when you finally slow down enough for you to finally think of the things you intentionally did to me just to ruin me it's gonna kick you right in the face and hurt you to the bone. But just remember what you said. We was never worth fighting for. Or you can trust your heart and go to the past when we would look each other in the eyes and remember to the moon and back always and forever. Your choice but your heart will never forget how true it was and how real it was. So the choice is yours believe who you want but one day your heart's gonna remind you. I love you always and forever no matter what your new friends tell you.

You are so wrong absolutely wrong about me and have been since you started believing it. You let that ruin you and us and you was t even right you was completely wrong about me this whole time. Believe me or not but I am talking the truth right now and your completely wrong about what you thought you knew about me. It ruined your whole idea of me and you let it. Let me correct that by finding out for yourself by getting to know me again. I think you would be pleased with the changes. If not then I guess we can go back to what you said first we wasn't worth fighting for. You choice bye