How to talk to parent about behavior/executive function

First grade teacher here. Let’s start with assuming the positive and that parents don’t know what to do, not that they are ignoring behavior or have their heads up their asses (I know, I know…)

I have conferences coming up and I have more than a few students who can’t follow directions to save their souls. It’s not cognitive, possible ADHD/Autism/gentle parenting.

For example, a kid who can only hear part of a direction, like “take out your purple writing folder and put your paper in” and he will just stick it in his desk. Or in the wrong folder. Then when I try to help him, he sits there and blinks and will eventually cry. I have another who took THIRTY SEVEN minutes to get started on work. He said “I just have so much in my brain I can’t concentrate”.

I’m not sure what to say? What phrases to use? Resources to send home? Of course I can’t say I suspect your kid has (insert disability here).

I have been doing this for 20 years and I’m at a loss with this group and I suspect it’s only getting worse.