Sadness

I’m not sure if you can give me some feedback. I got into an argument with my Narc mom about the lack of care when I FINALLY got to see him. He was emaciated in the hospital and could not eat / he was dying. I told her to never contact me again and I changed my number. He ended up dying and I was never notified. I found out going to the county recorders office. I called her 3 weeks after his death. She had been horribly abusive my whole life but I hung in there because she was my mother. She blamed me for everything saying my father died a horrible death and asked for me but I wasn’t there. She was talking to my sibling but never bothered to tell me. She had my address. Then after the fact, seven months later she dies in hospice. So that means she was sick when I called- no one told me she was dead - again I had gone to the clerk. My mother and I had a rocky relationship, but how do u not say goodbye? I lost my entire family in a blink of an eye.