I’m starting to think BJJ ain’t for me

I can’t seem to win a single tournament bro. Idk what happens to me. When I’m at the gym I don’t roll the way I do in tournaments. I feel nervous. I panic. I can’t commit to anything. I freeze. It’s been three tournaments. I recently got promoted to purple. However I compete as a blue belt. I think I don’t even deserve to be a blue belt tbh. I either need a break or quit the sport. I don’t even want to show my face, when I get back at the gym. It’s honestly embarrassing, I feel ashamed I let a lot of people down.