How to stop feeling like you’re chasing each other

Need Advice

for context, my boyfriend and I met while I was studying abroad but neither of us are from the country where that university is. he is doing his masters, I am graduating from my bachelors this summer. we have been dating for almost a year, and been doing long distance for 8 months following the end of my exchange. we have been lucky enough to see each other every 2-3 months since but it is a big commitment since we live on different continents. the issue is that given the field we both want to start careers in, it is very likely we will both have to be comfortable moving around to follow opportunities. following my graduation I plan to return to the country we met in to start my masters while he finishes his. we will have a one year overlap guaranteed in the same city, and then we don’t know where he will have to go for work. I think one of the many things I love so much about him is that he is so determined to make change through his career, and we have a great level of similarity because I want the same for myself. but the issue is that source of similarity is also likely the biggest source of trouble in the longevity of our relationship. if he lands a great role after he graduates, and has to move somewhere far away, I will have to continue my masters studies for another year. and then after that I don’t know what career opportunities await me. last time i saw him he said something to the effect of “I don’t know how we will stop chasing each other” and it cut really deep because he managed to put into words my biggest concerns over the last year. with two people so similar, at stages in our education and career that requires flexibility and mobility, how can we make something fulfilling and sustainable? is there a way to continue this without either feeling they are sacrificing their career or desires?

Posted Feb 7, 2026, 11:06 PM UTC

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