Hello - I’ve seen this foster community be so kind and reassuring and I need a little of that today. I’ve fostered these babies for 3 months now. Just before that, my cat of 5 years died. He was my best bud, with me through so much, and I still turn into a puddle of tears when I remember he’s not here. 

I’ve been fostering for a couple of years now, so it’s not new to me, but it’s so hard when I keep kittens for this long. I leave for a week trip tomorrow so I’m dropping them off at the shelter before I leave. They become available for adoption a little after I get back (and I can pick them up for those few days before they can be on the adoption floor). I don’t have anybody to take care of them for a whole week of being gone, thus the shelter drop off.

I feel horrible for returning them to a cage at the shelter, for days. They love my house and cuddle with me all the time. To them, my house is home.  But now I’m abandoning them and putting them back in a metal box at the shelter. I feel so much guilt. 

I also feel horrible when I browse cats to adopt as a resident cat. I love having a resident cat and I’ve only ever adopted single adult cats. They’re my fav because I skip all the pesky kitten stuff and they become a great/main companion. For this reason, I haven’t really considered adopting my foster kittens. I tend to have a pretty good foster vs resident cat emotional separation but this feels like a horrible betrayal - being able to adopt and wanting to adopt, but not them. I hate it.

Please reassure me that this is part of the process. That they won’t feel heartbroken that I abandoned them and that I’m not a horrible person for not wanting to adopt them 😭

Finishing out a 3 month foster and so conflicted - please give love and reassurance!