Lost Abundance

I had everything I had ever wanted, I got a job as an ocarina maker in Los Angeles. My workplace was filled with cats and kittens. Then I lost it all to a spiritual psychosis. It lead me first to the hospital, then on a trip to Peru where I drank ayahuasca and met many shamans. Now I’m home with my parents, and I’m growing closer with my family. I’m struggling with symptoms like anhedonia. I feel completely disconnected from my intuition and soul. I feel like a poison to the world, I feel a horrible energy in me related to ex relationship trauma and abuse. I am medicated on antipsychotics and I can’t feel any of my emotions, but I couldn’t feel them before anyway. I am completely spiritually lost. What do you make of this journey?