Please help me

Hello! I'm a 20 year old international student, I've been living in Bonn for about two years now. In November 2025, I moved to a WG in a close by town, Rhöndorf. It was to be shared among 4 women including me. The first few days were decent, nothing too crazy. We were all women of colour. But there was one person who had been living there for over six years now, and I always got an odd vibe from her because at first she used to tell me how they "share everything" in the house and "are like a family" which really backpeddled quickly. For context, she was black/32 year old woman. Not even two weeks in, I had started noticing that she was extremely controlling and basically got the last word at everything related to the house. Things took a turn for the worse when I had hung my towel on the drying but I got yelled at and got it thrown over the toilet bowl because it was "her space" to hang the towel. Later that evening, I was also harassed for playing music in my room, it was 5pm, it wasn't loud by any means, I had left my door half open on accident while going downstairs to get some water and she took the opportunity to yell at me. Soon after the situation had turned hostile. Of course, the other two housemates were on her side because I suppose they'd been living with her for longer time and the only thing that mattered to them was that she treated them well. We had two bathrooms in the house and by the third week, they had disallowed me from using the big one and I was made to use the one with mouldy walls. Oftentimes at night, I'd be walking in my room and hers was directly below mine and she'd slam her roof/ my floor to basically try to shut me up countless times. I was soon forbidden from using any of the amenities in the house including the drying rack, microwave, kettle, toaster, airfryer or the toaster, along with the vacuum cleaner because "she" was the one who had bought everything. Even after complaining to the landlady, nothing changed, the landlady firmly stood for her. I was basically paying 650€ a month for getting harassed.

The breaking point was when it was only the two of us during Christmas break and I was cornered against the bathroom and threatened by her to leave the house. I struggle with depression, and frankly, living in that house had made my situation far worse than anything I'd endured. I had a history of sf h*m and I think once or twice my arm got noticed because I have old scars and well, women tend to walk around in towels sometimes. I have a recording that I'm unable to attach here but it basically went, "I think you need medicine for your mental illness. Oh wait, I have something better, here, take this knife and cut yourself with it. Or rather, stab me." And in that moment, I was really tempted to, I knew she was trying to provoke me to do something wrong so she could play the victim again. I was extremely disturbed after the incident and cleared all my belongings and moved out on an emergency basis. After talking to the landlady, I even sent her the recording and all she said was that, "It seemed like you both were simply having a discussion and she said you could stab yourself or her if you want." As if that's a normal thing to say to someone??? A lot of my good friends are black also but ever since this incident, I haven't been able to look at them the same either and I'm really disappointed. I don't want to be racist but I'm traumatised.

The landlady refuses to give my deposit back, it was 1200€. She says, "because I left without a word and broke the 1 year contract, I'm lucky she's not making me pay extra penalty." I'm extremely desperate for my money back because I make very little on my minijob, and I have nowhere to stay right now in germany so I had to come back home temporarily. Please, if someone is reading it, I'm begging you. Help me. This situation is really taking a toll on me and I'm scared to go to the police even though I have a recording as evidence because I know that woman can and will use my history of mental illness against me. I don't know how to reach the tenant association for help either. I'm not fluent in german, and I have no one to rely on. I'm really lost right now and losing hope.