Cure of Gender Dysphoria?

Like I know transitioning is a sin and all me and god talked about this many times in the last 2 years since I got aware of why I feel so strange in my body.

But I don’t know why I still have it?

Like my friends wouldt be supportive my parents would not like it my country as well. There is 0 reason to come out it would only worser my life.

I prayed many times to be cured it’s like one my biggest issues and I always fall into a loop of hoping I get to transition maybe in 10 years but than I remember how it’s actually not allowed but I still secretly wish not to be cured since I don’t want to leave that hope.

Why won’t god not just cure me :,) ?

I have already enough problems I don’t need a identity crises at such a young age.

I repented of my homosexuality already but like gender dysphoria is something I can’t just suppress.

It’s a bit silly but I suppressed my gender dysphoria for quite some time and when I got back into that trans stuff I felt weirdly comfortable like there is still hope but now I’m back to realizing that this hope is for nothing.

I don’t like that cycle of suffer -> hope -> realizing -> suffer.

Idk if it has something to do with „demon appear beautiful as a disguise“ thingy but it kinda feels like it.