So selfish…

My mom (60F) moved in with me (41F), we made a bedroom in our basement for her, back in May 2025.

November 1, 2025 I had something happen to me that made me bedridden since that date & I require 2 spinal fusions scheduled at University of Michigan on March 2 & 3, 2026.

It should be a given that if YOUR DAUGHTER is allowing you to LIVE WITH HER & NOT PAY RENT - you need to earn your keep somehow. At least help your DISABLED DAUGHTER! A mom should WANT to help. WANT!!!! I do not get that from her & it still hurts after all these years.

She checks on me maybe once a day. She doesn’t cook meals (there’s 6 of us), actually the last 2 in a row she ruined so she wasted food, doesn’t clean properly, complains about everything, just NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.

So it came to a head today. She cut her hair Tuesday, in my bathroom. Wednesday morning I go to take a shower & notice her hair EVERYWHERE. All over the counter and floor. So I have to clean it. She also doesn’t clean the toilet right. She told me long ago, “a person will purposefully do things wrong so you don’t ask them again & you just do it instead”, no doubt she’s trying to play that - it’s not working.

I sent her a very long text on Wednesday. I explained how I feel, how she’s not doing enough, what she’s doing is half-ass at best, she doesn’t feed me, check on me, help me in any way, I also added in that she seems to get pleasure & comfort seeing me struggle. That I was literally designed (both bio parents are narcs & alcoholics) to FAIL & it kills her that I don’t let anything keep me down - I FIGHT - something she’s never done.

She literally sits on my couch & watches at min 9hrs - at max 14hrs straight of trash tv, or anything to hold her attention. She thinks there’s no problem with spending 9-14hrs per day, every day, watching tv. She says I live in filth & she can show me. What?! Why not clean it, if it’s true, which it’s not. I’ve never lived in filth. Piles of stuff on the island or kitchen counter - sure! FILTH?! No. She then brings up how I cannot support myself & kids, that I never have. Excuse me?! I am married. I also have life-altering spinal surgeries in a few weeks - how in the HELL can I take care of myself and kids alone?!?!

I told her to get out - TODAY. I know because her mail comes here I cannot legally kick her out without notice/eviction. But, I took the power cord from the TV. Her only lifeline. Seriously, if there isn’t a TV, she cannot be there. So, she purposefully left a bunch of dishes in the sink last night. Even told my husband she wasn’t doing them to get back at me - like a middle schooler. So, when she asked “are you going to fix the tv?” And my answer was “no”. She left.

Now, if I do happen to “need her” after these horrific surgeries & she refuses - that will be IT. I will NEVER speak to her AGAIN. Honestly, on God, that’s a fact.