Heavy abuse?

So I've been taking xanax ever since 2023, every 2 or so months.

The problem is that once I get my script (90 0.5's), I just think to myself "I'll take 2mg and chill", which is never the case.

Instead, I go on a binge and eat all of them in a day, or two, and then spend my remaining money on attempting to get more xanax.

I've taken up to 50mg's a day, which is a huge waste, and not enjoyable at all.

Obviously I black out during this whole period, as I'd wake up a few days or a week later and not remember absolutely anything.

As this just boils down to self-control, is there anything I can do to help myself really just take a few pills and chill?

I've been to the ER at least 3 times, one of them my parents have found me in the living room, passed out with food all over my face. I sprained and almost broke my ankle, basically every time I come out of this horrible black out state, I will most certainly have some sort of an injury.