I (f27) almost almost cheated tonight

(I dont know if this fits so if you want me to delete it I will but I am intoxicated with the possibilities tonight and am open to suggestions.)

I am in a loving relationship with a finite expiration date. He has a job that will take him abroad soon, and despite knowing this we fell in love. We have been together almost a year.

I dated a different guy last year. We have similar passions and interests, and the sex was... amazing. On the rug in front of a wood fire type of "I'll never forget this" sex. He reached out recently and I ignored it until a friend brought him up recently.

I replied this morning and we spoke all day catching up. He lives near my office so suggested we meet after work for a cocktail. I let my SO know, to let him know there was nothing to worry about. And maybe to convince myself too.

I let his fingers linger on my thigh as he spoke. I didn't pull away when he told me how soft my skin is when he touched my forearm. I wouldn't look away when he was struggling to find the words to describe my eyes.

The waiter joked about us having the "best" date in the bar and I just winked at him.

He invited me home for wine by the fire. The images that flashed through my mind then, of what we had done, of what I wanted to do.

I was so close, so close to letting the bus pass me. He tried to kiss me and I turned so he caught my cheek.

I wanted to.

I kind of wish I did.

I'm home now and my SO is calling me to discuss our trip away this weekend and I can't answer yet.

I promised to go to a show with this guy next Wednesday and I dont know if i will resist a nightcap next week... Maybe i should cancel?