could i have been sa'd in my sleep?

Advice/Resources

sorry if this is a dumb question

so, from when i was 12-15, i was dating this girl the same age as me. she basically groomed and sexually abused me the whole time, and i remember alot of it, but recently i came across something in our old texts and it made me remember something that id forgotten.

she lived about 2 hours away from me so whenever wed see eachother, itd be for like a week at a time, typically every other month. i specify this because i dont remember if these incidents happened in the same trip.

basically, whenever wed "spoon" in my bed, shed sometimes do this thing where shed press her knee into my "areas" from behind. there was never any verbal consent given because i figured id easily be able to turn her down via my body language. guess i was wrong lol, one night she did it and i kept trying to move away from her (probably for around 5 minutes) until i was literally up against the wall, but she didnt stop. she only stopped after doing it for a few minutes because i wasnt making any noise. i brought it up to her the next morning but she dismissed it

another night (like i say, i dont remember if this was the same week or not) i kept getting really bad intrusive thoughts that she was gonna sa me in my sleep, so i tried staying up as long as possible and didnt speak or look at her, and actually pretending to be asleep at some points to see if shed do anything. my body was literally fully rejecting any touch from her, like id get shivers and involuntarily twitch whenever shed touch me. i did end up falling asleep so i dont remember if anything happened

then ANOTHER time (i dont remember if this was an entirely different night, nor if it was before or after those intrusive thoughts, or if it actually couldve been the morning directly after that happened) i woke up in the morning and felt a dull pain in my "areas", which i hadnt ever felt before. i genuinely only remembered waking up with that pain recently, and i cant tell if its a false memory or if id just repressed it because of how little of it i remember (despite the fact there was alot of other parts of her abuse that id forgotten)

i was js wondering if its possible she couldve done something in my sleep?? esp considering the intrusive thoughts mixed with my body rejecting her touch (keeping in mind i had no idea why i felt that way at the time) it maybe couldve been my body subconsciously remembering an event that my brain had forgotten/wasnt awake for?? sorry if this sounds like me overthinking, i js wanna know if its possible, because i really wouldnt put it past her to do something like this

Posted Feb 11, 2026, 10:12 PM UTC

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