I feel invisible and I don’t know how to keep carrying this alone

Hi. I’m not really sure how to start this.

I’ve been feeling extremely invisible in my life — especially emotionally. I’ve tried opening up before, even about very serious things, and the reactions I got were either silence or the topic being shut down. That hurt more than I expected.

I’m not in immediate danger, but I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts in the past and even attempts that no one noticed until I told them. And when I did tell them, nothing really changed. No strong reaction, no real concern. It made me feel like even my lowest moments weren’t enough to matter.

Lately I’ve also noticed my art changing. It used to be colorful and full of life. Now it feels darker, heavier — like it’s reflecting how exhausted I am inside. I don’t even know if that’s growth or just burnout.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: I feel alone with all of this. I don’t necessarily want to die — I just don’t know how to feel seen or valued.

If anyone has felt something similar, I’d appreciate hearing how you coped. I’m trying to hold on, I just don’t want to keep doing it in silence.