Just needed to tell someone....

....I'm seeing a guy. Friend of friends so we have been in our lives for years but we didn't start anything more until almost a year ago. We are both married and that can't change. As much as I wrestle myself about it, I have to admit, I really fucking love him. I love him and it brings me a lot of happiness to have a part of him. I can't tell him I love him tho. This wasn't part of the deal. Sex, emotional depth but no falling in love. I think there's a fear on both sides of what it might mean. Thought I could stick to that but I can't control my feelings. I can and will respect the containment of our relationship. I just wanted to tell someone, I love him. He brings me calm. I wanna care for him as long as he'll let me. He is just right as he is. No more, no less. He is often the best part of my day and I am so happy he is in my life. However this ends up.