I allowed my anger at her family control how I handled the divorce and I am now paying the price for this

I've now been formally divorced for three months now, and I can finally breathe and think clearly. The sad part, however, is that I realize I've made some expensive errors in the divorce process because I was so angry with the woman's mother.

Every problem that arose in the marriage was caused by my ex-wife's mom. She was always putting me down, never agreeing with any of the decisions that I was making. She was telling my ex-wife that I was no good for her. If we got in a fight, she would contact her daughter before talking to me. Her mom actually had a key to the house we were living in; she was free to just walk in on us whenever she wanted. After seven years of dealing with her like this, the divorce was filed.

Here's where I screwed up. I was so angry and hurt that I hired the most aggressive attorney I could find. I wanted to "win" and make them all pay for what they put me through. My lawyer billed $425 per hour and encouraged every confrontational approach. We filed motions for everything. Went after things I didn't even want just to make a point. Fought over furniture that wasn't worth the legal fees to argue about.

The final bill came to 28,000 dollars. I'm an operations manager and make 81k, so that's almost half my annual take-home pay. Meanwhile, her mom bankrolled her entire divorce, so she never felt any financial pain from all the fighting.

I was speaking to a divorce client last week, a friend of mine in Colorado, receiving a divorce, and he was working with a family law firm, a flat monthly rate, and they specialize in moving forward as opposed to fighting. I did some quick math, and I guarantee I could have saved probably $18,000 if I would have approached it differently. $18,000, that is a down payment on a new home, that is a year in my new life.

I did get my divorce; however, I was stupid enough to allow my anger with her family to contribute to my lack of financial security. The worst part is that her mother most likely enjoyed watching me blow through my savings fighting with her family. She won even after the divorce.

Anyone else let emotions dictate your divorce strategy and later regret it? How have you managed to get over the financial hurt?