Just gonna vent about things that have bothered me as of late. Warning, it will be a relatively long post (sorry about that)

So I, 17M, have been dealing with lots of mishaps and situations that aren't great for my mental health, for examples; lately I'm pretty sure multiple people want me to date them, but I'm not too keen on them. One of my friends also always vents to me but never asks how my day is, and upsets me because I ask how she is everyday. Further more that girl is slightly wedged into my life, considering I am one of, if not her only friend and reason why she hasn't given into addictions. On a different note; I feel like I cannot truly just "be weak, and be me", for example I deal with pressure from my family to be "masculine" and whatnot, and my mother tries to force me back into religion. Although a silver lining is that I haven't been "depressed" per say, just having down moments, but considering how I've let myself be abused and neglected by people close to me due to feeling guilty when they're upset because I can't help or save them, and it's made me feel no sense of achievement, I just wanted praise from my mom and dad, genuine, real, authentic praise, just like they praise my sister for doing more mundane things than me, I feel incredibly jealous of anyone who can find someone to give them even a shred of care, or love. And a final point of discontent; I hate how beauty standards are, considering I am a bit of a "femboy", everyone talks about "smooth skin, and no body hair" whilst I have to struggle knowing for a long time I will deal with the "shadow" of sorts even after shaving, or my body hair, I feel absolutely putrid in my skin, someone such as me cannot feel attractive, I feel entirely lacking in substance. Like when my friends laugh at my jokes, I don't find myself funny, when I'm told I'm smart for being a high honors student, I couldn't care less, I'd be afraid of scolding if I didn't get at least a B-. Okay, thank you for reading this long rant (I'm aware it kept getting more and more random) and sorry for the time waster, as per the name of the sub, it is off my chest lol