I'm tired of being so confused and not knowing the answers.

I have experienced so much trauma that makes zero sense to me. I've tried making friends by following all the steps people keep telling me to follow. I've been/AM a friend to people who need me. I've spent my last dime making sure someone else was comfortable while living with the discomfort of spending my last dime. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong and I can't fix anything unless I know what needs to be fixed, and it's killing me. Here's an example... I had a "friend" in Arizona. She was never really a friend because she was never there when I needed her. We got along well at the dog park. I would ask if she wanted to go places with me, because I don't like going places alone. She would always say no, only to come back to the park the next day talking about where she had gone "with her friends." I once won 10 free tickets to a male review. I asked everyone I knew and even posted it on Facebook and not ONE person responded! I bought tickets to see Def Leppard (precovid) and four years later when the show was actually going to happen, I was only able to find someone by posting on the Next door app. I paid over $300 for two tickets and I had a hard time GIVING one away. I try SO hard. Here's another example... in 2009 I was going through a debilitating depression. My daughter was 8 years old. I had been asking (AZ) the state for therapy for 6 years up to this point and kept getting denied. So I placed an ad online looking for someone to "take her to dance class a couple times a week." I'm not an idiot. I wasn't just going to hand my child to whoever responded. I placed the ad because it was breaking my heart having to sit and watch her smiling face and wanting so badly to be able to do something with her, and not being able to do anything! If you don't understand how paralyzing depression and anxiety can be, you arent qualified to give me an ignorant response. I was in tears every single day because I couldn't be the mom she deserved.
My case manager saw the ad, they threw me in the hospital for a weekend (where none of the doctors there could figure out what was wrong with the ad I placed). I didn't see my daughter again for 2 months (even the CPS supervisor, who I met with the DAY I got out of the hospital) didn't see anything wrong with the ad. I didn't leave my house for 8 months after that. I didn't know what I did wrong. I was asking for help. So cps sent a counselor to the house and at one point she asked "do you know why this was done to you?" NO! Then she told me that my case manager called CPS and said I was trying to prostitute my daughter on the internet.

Omg. I instantly hit my knees. I couldn't make sense of anything that was going on, and now this??

I am so tired of being suckerpunched. And then being punished for it. And I have no one to talk to about anything. Oh, that friend that I mentioned, I also helped her when she had to have her knees replaced. I took care of her dog. I fluffed her pillows, got her water. But no one would be there for me if I needed surgery. There isn't anyone to ask. It's killing me that no one cares about me. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong.