Fear of angels as a kid

Hey! I’m new here and I think this might be the right place to talk about this.

I feel so alone in my rabbit hole and I’m so greatful for the internet in times like these.

I grew up very Christian but Ive deconstructed and now I have connected some dots about the connection between the mysteries of the universe and the big religions.

When I was a kid I was SO scared of angels. I struggled to sleep and I had found a way to “avoid” the angels by sleeping really close to the wall, so cute. This fear was a big thing for me, I was sooo scared of going to bed because I was scared of angels scaring me.

I can’t remember a clear memory of ever seeing any angel but I’m wondering if maybe an entity was visiting me and I got scared and thought it was an angel..? I guess i will never know. But I believe that many angels that have been described in ancient religious texts might have actually been extraterrestrials. This memory of the fear just popped into my head now and I just need to share it with someone anonymous on the internet as I feel like an alien talking about aliens irl.

This could very well be just be me being a scared child, most children are scared of some boogeyman. The Bible is very scary tho so wouldn’t blame kiddo me, but what if I was visited but has suppressed the memory somehow? Or got my memory erased.

Anyway. Had to get this off my chest. If there are any other Swedes/scandinavians here in the rabbit hole, I’d love to talk.